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Thursday, April 05, 2007
8:34 PM
ho hum..
today was definitely duller than yesterday..
but hey, maybe some excitement will transpire later on when we go on our annual bisita iglesia..
but i highly doubt it.
hmm..
today..
i woke up at around 12 noon..
ate lunch..
watched tv..
attended choir practice..
went home..
and here i am..
next topic.. hmm..
i am desperately in need of a way to get out of my "freezing dilemma"..
if you know what i mean..
i've actually thought of breaking my leg or giving myself pneumonia..
after all, i've still got a few weeks... yes, i am dead serious.. and very determined..
i know what you guys are thinking.. why not just tell them? tell them i refuse to concede their "gelid conditions"..
i tried once.. i didn't really tell them.. i just implied it..
and what did they tell me?
it's a once in a lifetime opportunity.. they would never be able to give that to me.. i should just take it while it's there.. while it's being offered to me..
yes, i understood their side..
but i was never really given the chance to decide first..
piggy made all the decisions for me..
and what did stupid ada do?
she chose the cruise date, she helped piggy fill out the form for ada's visa..
ada let it get this far.. now, there's very little chance that she'll still be able to consummate her summer plans..
*why the heck am i referring to myself using the third person POV?*
if i tell them that i don't want to go because i want to take classical guitar lessons, what will they say?
~ you can take lessons anytime.. but this, this doesn't come along very often..
what would i think to myself? (yes, i rarely speak my mind)
~ but i've been planning to take lessons this summer all year long.. i even told my mom about it.. i guess she forgot..
if i tell them that i don't want to go because i think 3 weeks is too long and i'm with piggy ONLY, what will they say?
~ she's family! what's wrong with having to stay with ONLY her for 3 weeks? you live with her here, you can live with her there!!
~ offers like those come once in a blue moon.. you should be thankful that you're staying there for 3 weeks..
what would i think to myself?
~ people get home sick.. for me, 3 weeks is way too long.. and yes, i live with piggy.. but at least there are other people with us, specifically my sister.. she won't be there with us, which makes the 3-week "vacation" worse..
if i tell them that i don't want to go because of 7_ ! () \, what will they say?
~ so you want to pass up this offer because of him?! it's just 3 weeks.. and you're still very young.. you'll meet a lot of other people..
what would i think to myself?
~ you don't know how i feel about this whole situation.. i was never able to deicide for myself.. you never considered what i wanted.. and yeah, sure.. i will still meet a lot of other people.. but i won't care about them the way i care about him.. of all the people, you guys should know how love affects/changes a person.. 3 weeks away from him may sound like a short time to you, but for me, it's like 3 decades.. i know you guys love me, so why can't you even respect or accept my reason..? because my reason is just a boy? well, he's a boy that i love.. please respect that..
but of course.. they will never know any of that..
and i will be forced to freeze in the distance...
and so, i end this post..
bbye.
*please excuse the errors in this post.. if there are any..*
...the end...
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