click

fly away.

2009-10-12T21:05:00.003+08:00

alam mo na ba? si angelo cataina. patay na.

when i heard the news, something inside me hurt. i don't know why but it just really... hurt.
i didn't shed a tear, but i couldn't understand why i reacted that way; why it hurt so much. after all, i hardly knew the guy.
all i knew was that:
1. he was my high school batchmate
2. he had a brilliant mind
3. he had a tumor in his brain (which i later found out was wrong because what he actually had was lymphoma)
and last saturday night, a fourth item was added to that list...
4. he is dead.

damn. i never thought that less than 2 years after i left high school, someone from our batch would be... gone.
i can proudly say that he was smarter than me. a lot smarter than me. and i say this not because i want to bring attention to my mental capacity or to his.
i proudly say this because i am proud of him. he had an insurmountable talent within him that he wasn't able to give to the world anymore.
what makes this hurt even more is that he never bragged about it even though he had the right to. he had an infectious humility that just made you appreciate everything he did even more.

i can't really say much about him. we never talked during high school. just nods, blank eye contact, or no eye contact whenever we passed by each other in the hallway. mostly no eye contact.
i though he was getting better. we never heard from him again after high school...
and now, we'll never hear from him.

farewell, dear angelo. even during your time here on earth, you had already proven to all of us that you deserved your name.
i never heard anyone say anything negative about you. you truly were an angel.

little broken angel. you gotta learn to fly. get up, earn your wings tonight...

good night, angelo.

when all else fails, get drunk.

2009-05-09T15:25:00.000+08:00

When everything in your life seems absurd, drink beer, get drunk, and laugh (or whine) yourself to sleep.

masarap pala makipag-inuman kapag problemado ka sa buhay mo. sa pag-aaral, sa buhay bahay, ...sa lovelife.
ang sarap magka-amats. napakagaan ng ulo mo.. hindi mo na iniisip yung mga problema.

pero sa totoo lang...
ikaw lang naman yung nasa isip ko nung inuman..

di ko na alam gagawin ko.

*opens another bottle of beer*

mas madali ba malasing ang tao kapag problemado siya?
o dahil lang ba gusto niyang malasing?
baka humihina ang resistance ng tao sa alcohol kapag depressed.

a scene from last night's drama

2009-05-08T16:02:00.001+08:00

(lights out. woman is on a bed, crying but trying to hide it. she is on the phone with a man.)

man: matulog ka na.
woman: (thinks to herself) will you still love me in the morning?

(flashback. mcdonald's cyberzone - which presently no longer exists.)

man: (writes on a piece of tissue paper) forever and ever, babe. forever and ever.
woman: (reads the tissue paper and smiles)

(back to present scene.)

woman: (breaks down) matulog ka na. matulog ka na. matulog ka na. matulog ka na. matulog ka na.
man: oo na. bye. (hangs up)

---

what happened to forever and ever?

\\~//

this is proving to be a very difficult month.

questions

2008-11-05T10:33:00.002+08:00

i read the cards you gave me..
i cried after reading the first card..

after reading the cards, so many questions came to my mind..

why did so many things change in only a year?
our first december as a couple was WONDERFUL.
the second.. was wonderful as well but we had problems then..
this Christmas, we won't even be celebrating it as a couple..

why do people lose sight of why they even chose that person in the first place?
why do make so many promises that we eventually break?

sisiguraduhin ko mula ngayon hanggang sa mga susunod mong bday, nasa buhay mo ako...

i know we went through many changes in our own individual lives...
but why did WE have to change?
or maybe we didn't change..

maybe we just forgot..

forgot why we wanted to be with that person so much..
why we couldn't stand to not be with that person..
why just the thought of not being with that person was painful enough..
why we fell in love, then loved that person wholeheartedly..

when we were both in high school, everything was great..
then you entered college.. and things got rickety..
then i entered college.. and things got turbulent..
now.. the plane has crashed..

why can't the grandest of all gestures fix the biggest of all mistakes?

i guess it's just that way for some people..

i once told you..
no matter what, whatever your fault may be, i'll always forgive you.. and i'll always love you..

and that's still true..

you never told me that..
so i guess that's why you've gone and left..

so many questions left in my head..

damn translation! =))

2008-11-02T20:10:00.002+08:00

darnit! i used babelfish to translate my recent post..
it's crap!! but it sounded soooo romantic when i typed it in english..
darn!! you guys won't be able to understand the romantic side of my previous post.. :))
unless you speak French.. then you might be able to appreciate it.. i hope. :))

je vous manque

2008-11-02T19:15:00.002+08:00

je manque les temps qui you' ; d appellent moi et we' ; d ont un souffle parler juste entre eux.
je manque les temps qui i' ; d étendent juste ma tête sur votre recouvrement alors que tout serait correct.
je manque les temps qui you' ; d vous étendent juste principal sur mon recouvrement et tout se sentirait juste merveilleux.
je manque les temps qui we' ; d vont à notre tache de dissimulation juste se montrer combien nous nous aimons.
je manque les temps qui you' ; d font n'importe quoi juste être avec moi.
je manque les temps que tout était juste ainsi bonbon et innocent.
je nous manque.
je manque tout au sujet de vous.

tellement fondamental, je vous manque.

je t'aime.

ahh.. the language of love. :)

will and grace, etc.

2008-10-30T13:58:00.002+08:00

more than friends...
less than lovers..

i'll gladly take that now..

but i know that this is only temporary..

it's either we'll become friends..
or lovers..

it's scary..
just waiting..
not knowing what's on your mind..

i miss you so badly..
it's driving me crazy..

i don't want to wait in vain for your love..
or do i?

i don't know..
all i know is.. you're worth the wait..

every single millisecond.. :)

i love you...
so much.
<3

\\~//

thanks to everyone i bonded with this week. :)
jessa, airelle, hoshea, alain, austin, chom, adrian..
*halos puro lalake. haha. XD*
i'm one of the boys. :P

you've all been a big help.. >:D<

\\~//

natatakot ako next sem...
wala na akong oras para maglakwatsa.
para malibang..
ndi ko alam kung pano ko kakayanin..
pero kakayanin ko..
para sa'tin.. :)

hopeful

2008-10-25T18:20:00.001+08:00

sana maayos. :)

i love you so much. :) <3

hay.

2008-10-25T17:52:00.003+08:00

naisip ko lng...

buti pa pamilya mo...

no matter what, they will always be a part of your life...

ako kasi... parang ang dali lang alisin...

was i not family to you?

because to me...

you were...

and you still are...

prom+freedom+the corrs

2008-10-25T12:36:00.003+08:00

i looked at our prom pix that i put in my blog..
(just type "prom" on the navigator)
and when i saw the last two pix..
all i could say was..

AWW.. :)

yeah, i miss you. :)

\\~//

i went to your multiply site.
i saw that the first song in your playlist was entitled..

FREEDOM.

it hurt.
but i just decided to laugh.

hahahaha. :)

\\~//

God if i had known the pain i'd make you feel...
i would've stopped the start of us, and turned upon my heel..

though you should leave me..
TIME will make it be alright..
though you must leave me..
believe me when i tell you..

i would love to love you like you do to me..
i'd love to love you like you do to me. :)

i love you. :) <3

what's going on in my mind...

2008-10-24T16:02:00.002+08:00

this is my side of the story...

he broke up with me because i DIDN'T love myself.
yes, i said DIDN'T. his breaking up with me gave me the motivation to actually love myself..
for me first and foremost. then for him. mostly for us.

honestly, in a way.. i always knew that i didn't love myself.. even after the december incident..
it's just that that break up made me feel that if i didn't change overnight... he'd never come back to me.
and i didn't want to lose him... so i changed overnight..
well, at least i tried to make it seem that way.. but deep down inside, i was still troubled with self-destructive thoughts..
i wanted to tell him.. i really did.. but i felt that if i did... he'd leave me. and never come back..
so i just let it bottle up inside..

it wasn't always like this.. he used to be supportive.. when i hurt myself.. he'd be sad.. but he'd just comfort me and ask me not to do it again.. if i did it again, he'd say that slip ups are normal and that i shouldn't beat myself up for slipping up.

but i made him think that i changed overnight.. so i can't really blame him for expecting too much from me..
no more cutting.
no more speaking of such things.
no more thinking of such things.
no more tendencies.
no more urges.
no more intentions.

for a person who has had that problem for a number of years, changing that overnight was a big change. a big step. a drastic step.
i admire him for being able to do that for me..
i admire him for quitting smoking just like that. though he had slip ups, it wasn't that bad..
and i really admire him for that.
but i'm not like that.. i needed time.. time to change..

and i needed him.. because he was really supportive.. i'd like to say that he was supportive all throughout my recovery period... but there were times that he wasn't..
and i'm not angry about that.. no one is perfect..

but there were times that i felt as though i couldn't tell him everything anymore..
not even about that self-destructive problem. he'd just get angry... grow tired... and leave....

so i bottled it up.. dug a big hole in my heart... and shoved all my troubles in there....

then that fight happened.. the fight that really ended it all...
it was also the night that i broke down... i just let it all out.. and i couldn't control myself...
everything i tried to keep hidden just to prevent us from falling apart was revealed...
eveything i bottled up and shoved in just came out...

while we were fighting.. i was trying to stop myself.. but i couldn't not anymore...

he has to understand that i needed time to change.. but he rushed me..
he may not have intentionally did it.. but i was pressured to change overnight just so he wouldn't leave me..

what makes this hurt even more is the fact that i was making so much progress..
even though i was just hiding the negative thoughts, i knew i was making progress.. though slow, there was progress..

the urge to cut was gone.
the tendency to cause harm to myself was gone.
the only thing left were the thoughts.

one last step..

i just needed to drain everything i hid..
and when i did that... he left..

i can't blame him for leaving.. i hid a lot of thoughts.. and bombarding him with all of those thoughts all at once was too much for him.. i can understand that..

but in a way... i just wish he didn't give up. because i was 90% recovered. i sincerely believe that..
and if he doesn't notice or appreciate that...
then it's his mistake.

as i said in the beginning of this post.. i DIDN'T love myself.
i do now..
speaking with one of my dearest friends help me realize and see just how mean and cruel i was to myself.
plus, i saw that i was making my own problems.
i'm tired of that. i'm tired of always having that heavy feeling.

so stopped hating myself.
and you know what? it's basically what's helping me cope with this break-up.. :)

the first two break-ups i experienced (one with my ex and the other was the december incident) was hell for me.
i couldn't function normally..

now, if you see me, you wouldn't even think that we're broken up.. not until i tell you.. then you'd see in my face just how sad i really am..

i understand why he left me.. i hid my thoughts, so he just couldn't understand why i was that way..
not like before.. when i always told him.. because i still believed that he'd never leave me no matter what.
i'd like to say that i still believe in that. but in a way.. i no longer do.

it's not like i intended to hide it from him. in a way, i did.. because i didn't want to lose him..
but in a way, i didn't.. because everytime i was with him, everything seemed fine..
and the negative things that were in my mind just went away..

i just feel that this break-up is unfair..
he's the only one who gets to decide what happens to us..
i know i made my mistakes.. and he has his limits..

but didn't he make mistakes as well? don't i have my limits too?

and yet i never gave up on you.. never will. ever.

i know you're tired.. tired of me? i honestly don't know..
i'm sorry if you feel that i pushed you to the limit.

i guess i just pushed myself too hard as well..
and that led to your giving up on me.

i just wanted to make you happy.
but that wasn't enough for you..
because you want me to think of myself too.
and i thank you for being selfless..

i love myself now..
i hope you love yourself as well..

i'll give you all the time you need. :)
i do hope you read this.. maybe this can help clear things up. :)

i have a vague concept of your side of the story..
at first i wanted to write it here as well, but i don't want to publicly assume anything..
i'll wait for you to open up to me. :)

i love you. always have. still do. always will. <3

yup, that's basically what's going on in my mind. haha.

hahahahaha.

2008-10-23T23:47:00.002+08:00

how funny. the last time i updated my blog was when we were broken up.

hay.

i'm not sure if he still wants me back.

he sure ain't showing it.

maybe it's because he doesn't want me back?

i need to give him time.

how long?

only God knows.

and even if i give him time.

he still might leave me for good. (good? hahaha. how funny. not.)

i'm in an absolutely crappy situation.

TMTH

2008-10-23T23:24:00.002+08:00

we went to our usual not-so-hidden hiding spot.. i stood on the platform.. then you followed..
then we hugged.. we hugged the longest hug we ever gave each other.. i closed my eyes and smiled..
but the hug was so long that i eventually opened my eyes.. and stared at the back of your shirt..
you were wearing your batch shirt.. i still remember that moment like it was yesterday..

and as if it couldn't get any better..
you whispered to me..

"ayoko na bumitaw..."

and it was exactly what i was thinking..
i knew.. i just knew.. you were the one..

but now you've gone..
you still treat me well..

well, only as a friend..
i'm glad i'm still a part of your life..
but to let this go on like this is just...

just TMTH.

i'm empty... <\3

2007-12-15T21:07:00.000+08:00

i lied in the tub..
the lukewarm water surrounding me..
everything around me felt tepid.. i felt light..

but i decided to drain the tub..
for if i knew that if i stayed like that any longer, i would have decided to drown myself...

as the water level slowly went down..

i felt the coldness that was there all the time..
i felt the heaviness of my body..

nothing seemed light or warm anymore..

everything was cold..

"so this is what happens to a person's heart when all the love is drained out of it..."
i thought to myself..

it just stays cold and heavy...

yet very empty.

_________________________________________________________

Tried to take a picture
Of love
Didn't think I'd miss HIM
That much
I want to fill this new frame
But it's empty

Tried to write a letter
In ink
It's been getting better
I think
I got a piece of paper
But it's empty

It's empty

Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty

And I've even wondered
If we
Should be getting under
These sheets
We could lie in this bed
But it's empty

It's empty

Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty

Oh oh
Oh oh
Oooooh
Oh oh
Oh oh

Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty

We're empty

all hail ***!! for they rule us all.. damn.

2007-08-28T20:32:00.000+08:00

note: to all my classmates who might come across this post (and since you're reading this, you have! good for you), i just want to tell you that this is my opinion. respect it. and this does not necessarily apply to the whole "league of rulers", and that i do not dislike each and every single one of you. yes, right now, i hate some of you. this is because you have taken away the one thing that the avo-I '08 students once had. unity.
make up for it. maybe i might start treating you nicely again.
unfortunately, i have to converse with those whom i CURRENTLY (take note of the word currently) loathe due to other obligations.

what a long note. now that that's done..
on with the post.

today... the angel became the devil... mother theresa became hitler.. it was a catastrophe..
they became poower-hungry minions of the devil..
louder.. louder.. LOUDER.. LOUDER... LOUDER!!!!
instead of helping increase the volume by actually participating.. even in the reciting of the piece.. they just kept on babbling on about our imperfections..
as if they were perfect...
one decided to participate.. tsk tsk tsk... that one couldn't even get her sorry ass on the asphalt while i had a pebble embedded in my palm..
all for the sake of their grade consciousness.. they've gone mad with power..
their bandwagon has become a badwagon and it's really pissing me off..

class presentations are supposed to bring the class closer together.. instead, they're tearing us apart..
a class presentation is supposed to be the collage of everyone's ideas.. of 36 people's ideas.. not just 1 or 2 or 3.. whatever.....

i miss the "fresh" days.. days when almost 1/4 of the class stayed behind just to make the choreography of the Christmas songs..
days when we had fun.. days when they weren't the self-proclaimed leaders of the class..
days when EVERYONE's ideas were considered, reconsidered, and definitely NOT DISREGARDED.
days when the people who could help weren't pinpointed..
days when everyone counted.. days when they weren't the "leaders" of avo..

i miss the original avo people (sorry.. but that is how we refer to the students of avo-I '08.)..
i miss the jokes that would give you tummy cramps just from laughing..
i miss the class presentations that everyone enjoyed..
i miss the days when we would gather in one big cirle and tell each other ghost stories.. screaming as we hear an unexpected rumble from a thunder..
i miss our fun-filled rounds of killer killer and one, two, three pass...

i miss being a part of a real class.

oh memories.. *sigh* i should really stop this complaining..
after all.. the almighty ones might become veeeery angered...
now i wouldn't want that, would i?

*** to rule us all.
*** to find us (and boss us around).
*** to bring us all and in the darkness....... i dont even want to know... :))

that's it. i'm done.
bbye.

hey...

2007-07-26T21:08:00.000+08:00

after almost two months of silence...

i'm back.

i just need to write again.. or should i say type..
i just need to express all of this drama in my life in an artistic way..
i just need.. peace.. quiet.. God..

\\~//

in her mind she cries and screams...

wailing.. crying.. escaping through daydreams..
anxiety has overpowered her rationality..
nothing could be better than ecstacy..
temptations have never been so hard to resist..

trying to be a better person, she persists..
obliviousness is something that she has truly missed..

counting the days 'til her next shot at bliss..
obstacles have weakened her patience..
miniscule mistakes bring anger in great proportions..
missing your kiss, your touch, your embrace..
in her heart she fears the things that she has to face..
thinking.. overthinking.. about the things yet to come..

evening and morning she just wishes to run..
dying to live the life she longs for..
in her soul she find nothing.. no inner core..
contemptuous is her state of depression..
in her laughter you hear nothing......
u....
s.....

damn.

2007-06-04T20:58:00.000+08:00

i am pissed.

mmm..

2007-05-21T13:43:00.000+08:00

gosh.. i'm going to miss seattle..

blake..
emp.. <3
ride the duck.. :))

everything..

even the torturous temperature especially at night.. XD

kabanalan...

2007-05-20T14:33:00.000+08:00

gusto ko sana mag-diretsong tagalog ngunit nahahawa na ako sa mga inglesero rito..
eto lng nman ang nais kong sabihin..

i miss the church.. :(

i'm not used to not going to church..
it just doesn't feel right..
:(

likod. likod. likod. likod.... at liit.

2007-05-12T16:03:00.000+08:00

nakita nmin kahapon c blake sa monorail..
aus!! :D

picture one: biglang gumalaw at humarap sa kabila..

cge, aus lng.. isa pa..

picture two: biglang tumalikod..

cge, aus lng.. isa pa..

picture three: hulaan ninio.. oo tumalikod NANAMAN!!!

cge, aus lng.. isa pa..

picture four: la na.. umalis na ung monorail na sinakyan nia eh.. XD

cge, aus lng.. napicturan ko likod nia.. TATLONG BESES!! XD

tingin sa labas ng mall..
auuuuun!! kaso ang layo.. nasa stage..
cge, picturan pariiin..

picture four: ndi lng nakatalikod.. kasingliit lng ng langgan.. AUS!!

XD

nyaha.. buhay nga nman.. :)

(it is 1:03 am.. may 12..)

TAGALOOOOOG!!!

2007-05-11T05:17:00.000+08:00

dahil ako'y kasalukuyang wala na sa Pilipinas..
ako'y magtatagalog..

*bow*

(ang oras ng post na 'to ay ang oras sa Pinas)
(2:17 pm ngaun dito.. kahapon ninio..)

add `em up..

2007-05-09T23:48:00.001+08:00

here's a little mathematics.. :)

almost oversleeping
+ hurried commuting
+ excruciatingly hot temperature
+ stupid people who sat near us
+ yummy lunch
+ looooooong line
+ humid temperature
+ nice walk
+ drizzle
+ walk in the rain
+ resting at the waiting shed
+ waiting for a jeepney
+ looooooong jeepney ride
+ hot chocolate all over
+ standing, just standing
+ walking, just walking
+ a kiss, a hug, then goodbye for more or less a month
+ one last glance
+ smile
_______________________________________________________

a perfect day.. :)

thank you Lord.. :)

Y O U

2007-05-07T19:15:00.001+08:00

resistance is futile..
and it seems that weeping only brings me senseless pain..
so i will cease all of this nonsense..
the only way to be at peace is to accept my fate..
to concede to their terms although my consent was never included in their agenda..
i know in my heart that this is not torture..
that God has blessed me once more..
yet parting brings such bitter agony..
like one's limbs being torn off..
as time passes, departure will only be but a distant memory..
it's once fatal blow will be but a scar..
a scar that will linger and only disappear once i am back in your arms..
never to be separated once more from love..
never to be miles apart from happiness..
and i know that after this ordeal..
all difficulties will have been repaid in the most rewarding way possible..
'tis but a simple gift..

YOU. <3

the power of the roach..

2007-05-05T22:26:00.000+08:00

if you take the time to visit my decaying blog everyday, then you most probably have noticed that i wasn't able to update it yesterday..

read this post and you'll find out why..
i'm here to tell you a little story about...

the power of the roach....
*be afraid.. be very afraid..*

'twas a hot night..
an extremely and irritatingly hot night..
as usual, i went online.. but that fateful night, i decided to use the computer instead of the laptop..
i had to attend to some files saved in it..

anyway, i planned on doing my daily routine..
my groundwork was to chat and play neopets until 3 am.. as i always do...
everything was going according to schedule until..........

until i saw something out of the corner of my eye..
something small.. something flying..
i bended to take a peek at the window area and.....

*DEN DEN DEEEEEEEN!!!*

there it was.. my best buddy.. dropping by to give me a visit..
a LOVELY roach just flying around, trying to get my attention..

since my BEST BUDDY took the time to see me, i knew i couldn't just stay in that room and waste the night away in front of the computer..
so when i recognized him/her/it/whatever, i immediately shut the computer down, turned everything in the room off (except the lights, but turning those off from outside the room was easy), and almost ran outside to the living room..

ahh yes.. the power of the roach..
just a flap of its GORGEOUS wings can make me leave a room despite of all the things that i planned to do..

so what can i say about my BESTEST BEST BUDDY EVERRRRRRR???
hmmm.. two words..

stupid roach.

how could you do this to me...??

2007-05-03T22:38:00.000+08:00

note: you might want to highlight the latter part of the post.. :D

i chose you..
there were so many others.. they all wanted to be chosen.. but i picked you..
i spent such a long time with you.. i endured everything for you..
i never left you.. and though there were times that i fell like you were slipping away from me, i still held on..
i showed no signs of letting you go.. it was as if you were already a part of me..
you were always with me during my journey.. and yet, as the duration of our inseperability became longer, staying together seemed to become more and more painful...
but i needed you.. especially during my journey.. i couldn't go on my journey without you..
and you only caused me pain..
i had to force myself to let you go... and when i did, the pain remained..
i thought that i would feel better, but i didn't..
every step i took only caused me torment...

and it will forever remind me of you..

i hope that someday, this pain will go away...

how could you??
how could you do this to me???

i cared for you..
i never hurt you the way you hurt me..
or maybe i did.. and i deserve this...

how could you do this to me...

BOOTS.

one of my most loved...
my brown pair of BOOTS..
why would you cause my feet such pain??

why oh why.............??

just what the doctor ordered..

2007-05-02T23:23:00.000+08:00

him:
i'm veeeeeery sad..
i haven't seen her in over a week..
i feel like i'm screwing everything up..
i'm losing everything and now, i might have to give up my dream..
but she's always there for me.. and i'm very grateful for that..
even though i feel like i haven't been the best boyfriend, she always says the contrary..
she makes me feel like i'm not a failure, and in a way, she's also convinced me..
i just feel so much better whenever i talk to her..
but.. gosh.. i miss her so badly..
i've just been soooo stressed out and i need a break from all of this..
what do i do..? i still have loads of things to attend to...
:-<

doc:
go see her..
even for just one day..
you need it, she needs it, and both of you deserve it..

her:
i'm veeeeeery sad..
i haven't seen him in over a week..
i know that he's very busy `coz he has to fix a lot of things and i respect that..
he feels like he's losing everything, and i'm doing my best to make him see that everything happens for a reason..
he really needs me now and i'm more than happy to help him out..
i know that i've been lonely `coz he's been busy, but that doesn't make him a bad boyfriend..
he says that he's a failure, but i believe that no one is.. i've told him that..
i just feel so much better whenever i talk to him..
but.. gosh.. i miss him so badly..
he's just been really stresed out and i'm leaving next week.. i just want to see him as often as possible while i'm still in the country..
what do i do..? he's still got loads of things to attend to...
:-<

doc:
go see him..
even for just one day..
you need it, he needs it, and both of you deserve it..

thank You..
it's just what they both needed..
:)

keep the faith up..

2007-04-30T20:00:00.000+08:00

complain, complain, grumble, and growl
'tis all that we do when everything's foul
to sulk, to blame, to weep, to go astray
'tis all that we do when it must be to pray.

anger, regret, abhorrence, and depression
'tis all that we feel when we long for asphyxiation
to cut, to bleed, to smoke, to drink
'tis all that we do when we crave no more to think.

what must we do when all have turned their backs on us?
how must we feel when there is no one we can trust?
why must life always cause us such grief and pain?
who can we turn to in our times of disdain?

when all are angered because of our mistakes
when living your life is like a nightmare when you're awake
when you feel like everything you once had is lost
all you must do is turn to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.

for even family can fail at times
and somtimes love can hurt, even for someone who tries
and friends are forever isn't always true
only the Supreme Being will surely help you get through.

so pray, pray, gratify, and worship
for the Lord God will alleviate you in all your hardships
to love, to have faith, to be patient, to hope, to stay strong
when you do all these things you'll find where you belong.

~ for you.. <3

(-_-)

2007-04-30T16:40:00.000+08:00

sat.. ek..
sun.. splash island..

*bow*

multiply.. XD

2007-04-25T23:38:00.001+08:00

someone has a new multiply..

http://pamposhbuildschurch.multiply.com

*click*

:D

keep the faith up..

2007-04-25T12:10:00.000+08:00

today, i planned on posting about my horrid day at the U.S. Embassy..
how i was supposed to be rejoicing because my visa was supposed to be rejected but my mom brought the "saviour".. my sister's passport..

then i decided to not update my blog..

then i decided to update it..

because.. although a lot of things didn't go my way today, in a way, it still turned out pretty well..
i was able to resist slitting my wrists by praying..
"keep the faith up.."
i also felt a lot better when i spoke with zion.. <3

also, helping my bestfriend out with an enigma helped me take my mind off my stressful day..
i actually really liked helping her..
the last time i was able to really do something like that was when i was in the sixth grade..
i guess that was one of the reasons why i was never that problematic.. because i enjoyed helping my friends out so much that i didn't have time to ponder on my problems.. they just fixed themselves..
ever since i started in high school, that didn't happen again..

so, thanks..
although you think that you should be thanking me..
honestly, i should thank you more than you should thank me.. :)

but like all problems, they become resolved..
in a way, her problem's already resolved..

and as soon as that happened..

:-<

i think you already know..

i guess there's only one thing to do..

keep the faith up..

unanticipated

2007-04-23T19:42:00.001+08:00

first of all, i'd like to inform you that i will not be able to promise you daily posts/updates because for this week, my activities will include entertaining my cousins from General Santos, and if i have time, playing sungka until i get sick of it.. :)

now, on with the very short update..

today, a lot of things happened that didn't go as planned..
and i thought that my day would be ruined..
it almost was..
but God has a way of making things go your way just when you're about to complain about the annoying disruptions you've been having all day..

and i must say..
God is great.. :)
He really made my day very happy..

thank You Lord..
i love You..
:)

everything that happened today was so unanticipated..
don't you agree? ;)

my posts..

2007-04-21T21:17:00.000+08:00

this update is about my previous posts..

hmm.. well.. i just read some of my posts during the past few months of my blogging life and i must say..
what must i say? well, i'd like to describe most of my posts and i've found the perfect adjective..

CORNY.

haha.. i must admit.. my "posting skills" have really improved since i started blogging..
i guess improvement does occur gradually..

anyway.. that's all that i wanted to say..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

btw, since you're reading this post, you already know my blog's new url.
please do not share this information with anyone who i am related to.

thanks.

p.s.

just a little info about the new url..
you see, my real name was supposed to be AGNES.. but that's already my name..
so they changed it to AISHA.. but it wasn't in the Bible.. [that's what they always tell me..]
so they changed it to ADALGHEEZA.. but a lot of family members didn't like it.. *ginisang ada*
so it evolved to ADA MARIE.. *tada!*

puerto galera.. puerto nirvana..

2007-04-21T20:27:00.000+08:00

okay.. two posts for today..
one about the puerto galera trip and another about.. well, just read it..
but, of course, after i post the 2 updates, you'll be reading the second one first..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i will not be discussing our jaunt in full detail..

day 1: thursday
road trip to batangas..
speedboat ride to puerto galera..
jeepney ride to puerto nirvana, the resort..
swimming at tamaraw falls..
swimming at the resort..
swimming at the beach..
WALKING ON WATER.. :))
waiting for american idol on abc..
falling asleep just as american idol was about to begin.. :))

day 2: friday
turtle pictorial..
swimming.. swimming.. swimming..
did i already mention swimming?
jeepney ride to white beach..
souvenir buying..
dinner..
jeepney ride back to puerto nirvana..
zZzZzZzZzZz..

day 3: saturday
swimming..
check-out..
jeepney ride to the dock..
a very sea sickening speetboat ride..
road trip to qc..

*bow*

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala..

2007-04-17T20:55:00.000+08:00

based on the title, you can tell that this will once again be one of my senseless posts..

actually, i already had a topic in mind but i'm not really in the mood to type a long post..

so i end this post.. haha.. :))

bbye.

passion..

2007-04-16T22:08:00.000+08:00

passion..
people are passionate about a lot of things..
i wonder.. what is the root of passion..?
people are passionate about the things that they're good at.. about the things that they've learned to love..

and for me.. it's music and theatre arts.. put 'em together and what have you got? bippity boppity boom! musical theatre..

so far, last summer was the best summer of my teenage life..
it was the most emotional, but it was also the most fulfilling..
being able to participate in an original musical play.. in a play where you composed the songs.. can really boost one's self-esteem.. :)
and being able to play a "perfect" piece during your 5th guitar recital really makes you feel that all those years of self-studying and taking lessons have really paid off.. :)
good times... good times... :)
forgive me for being a braggart but please.. cut me some slack.. these experiences rarely happen in my life..

but why is it whenever someone asks me what my first choice will be in my college application, i always say SpEd..?

why do i not say Theatre Arts or Music?
because if i did choose either of the two, i wouldn't be doing much for anyone but me..

and well.. frankly.. i don't have much faith in my "talents".. if you can call them that..

but if i were really passionate about those things, i would pursue them.. wouldn't i..? shouldn't i..?

but i most probably won't..
does that mean i'm not really passionate about music and theatre arts..?

no.. of course not.

so.. what is the root of passion?
why are we passionate about the things that we are passionate about..?

is it because we love these things?
is it because we are good at them?
or is it because people love us because we are good at them..?

and if our reason is the third one, is it still counted as passion?
or is thirst for fame..?

hmm...

thank You..

2007-04-15T21:59:00.001+08:00

to my beloved reader/s.. as if there are any..
please forgive for not being able to publish a new post for the previous day..
when i got home i was dead tired and i immediately fell asleep..

being unable to update my blog was also quite unfortunate because yesterday was absolutely wonderful.. it was sooo happy. :)

i was sooo happy.
we were sooo happy.

thank You..
thank you..

it was his birthday yesterday..
we saw a movie.. :D
ate pizza and nachos..
and.. just had a great time.. just forgot about everything that could make us feel angry or worried or sad..

it was perfect..
and i wish that yesterday never had to end..

but it had to.. :(

sorry.. i'm just not in the mood to type a long post..

all i have to say is..

thank you..
and most importantly.. thank You..

sooo much..

silence..

2007-04-13T21:19:00.001+08:00

first of all, i would like to greet everyone a happy friday the thirteenth.. :))

now, moving on...

silence is deafening.. oh yes it truly is..
but sometimes, silence can also make you hear the most beautiful music..

just like a while ago..
my mom, my dad, and i entered the house..
it was quiet and calm.. no one was watching tv, laughing, or running around.. it was peaceful..

it was different..

and i liked it..
i got my guitar.. played a piece.. then for the first time in a long time, i actually really heard what i was playing..
silence made me hear every note that i played and every mistake that i had to correct.. no humming of the electric fan, no hyperactive boy laughing boisterously, no fat woman speaking deafeningly..
all i heard was music.. sweet sweet music..

but after playing that piece, i felt as if something was missing..
like i played an incomplete piece..
maybe it was because the guitar that i used lacked its 4th string..
[[that was a joke.. please laugh as if you mean it.. :P]]

so i got my yamiii.. :)
i played a number of pieces.. my mother intently listened to my playing.. she even closed her eyes..
and although i played no perfect piece.. although i made a lot of inaccuracies.. everything sounded unblemished..

and it was all because of silence..

then my parents had to leave so i was left alone..
as i started putting my guitar back in its case, i started hearing the cars and motorcycles outside.. the softly buzzing fan that my mom turned on.. the laughter of the people outside..

my 20 minutes of serenity was up..
my 20 minutes of golden silence..

so i resumed my scheduled tasks which involved no silence whatsoever..

tests.. tests.. tests..

2007-04-12T21:31:00.000+08:00

unfortunately, i won't be able to provide you with a substantial post..
i still have to answer the tests that i missed..

nyt nyt..
bbye..

realization..

2007-04-11T22:35:00.000+08:00

hmm.. i know i said that i hate her and that i wouldn't even cry when she dies..
but.. hmm.. maybe i don't hate her.. maybe she just bugs me all the time..
but she never really does anything to irritate me.. i mean.. nothing intentionally..

she just does.
almost everything about her does.

but when i got home today, she asked me how my day was..
as usual, i mumbled "okay lng.."..
then she asked "it was okay?"
i nodded..

i always hear that from the people here..
"how was your day?"
and i always mumble my usual answer.. "okay lng.."
but when she asked me, it was as if she really wanted to know how my day was.. as if she really cared..

and when i showed her my report card, she was so happy for me..
then she said some things to me..
which in a way.. really touched me..

so.. i guess i don't hate her..
and sure.. maybe i'll cry when she dies..

ho hum..
that's life..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i saw him today..
*happeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*
:D

*epal na lalake.. kakaasar noh?*

~ excited na akooooooooooooooooo.. saturday.. :) ~

thank you so much Lord.. :D

in the middle of the introduction, disruption came along..

2007-04-10T20:38:00.000+08:00

they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder..
when two people who love each other are apart, they start to miss each other.. very much.. sometimes too much..

i used to think that that saying applied to me..
i guess it no longer does..

after more than a week, we saw each other today..
and i must say.. as the days of not seeing him personally passed, our conversations became worse..

i became more and more irritable..
i became irate at the smallest mistakes.. most of the time, they weren't even mistakes..
and yet, he never got mad at me..

i guess the saying applies to him..

last night was my breaking point..
if you know what i mean..

and of course, he tried to convince me to think the contrary.. to do the contrary..
actually, he did.. he did convince me.. but he didn't even need to try.. it was so apparent that what i was doing was against my will..

as i said earlier, we saw each other today..
all throughout the morning, i was planning the "curtain call of our play"..
i even typed into my cellphone the important points of my discourse..
i wanted to make sure he would have as little questions as possible..

anyway, lunchtime came..
i went to our rendezvous.. he wasn't there..
"he stood me up.."
i knew that i deserved it.. after all, i was the one who was ending the play just as it was in the middle of the introduction..

and so, i sulked as my friends ordered their food..
and then, i thought i saw him..
my friend looked out the window.. "it's him!"
so did my other friend.. "it's him!"

my heart started beating so fast..
but it wasn't him..
:'(..

and so i continued my sulking..
i couldn't help it anymore..
so i called him up..
he was on his way..
:)..

and he arrived..
we sat beside each other..
silent.

i wanted to end it..
but i didn't want to..
so i ended up being silent.
we ended up being silent.
veeeeery silent.

he accompanied me to the review center..
*guard disrupts our moment* :-L
we went up one floor.. *ahem* said goodbye.. then i said "i love you.."..
he said "wait a minute, what about our conversation last night?"..
she said "forget about it.. have to go.. bye.. i love you.."..
*he tugs her arm*
*ahem*

all i'm trying to say is that...
absence DOES NOT make the heart grow fonder..

at least for me..

missing someone too much makes me bitchy and invidious..

*sigh* oh well..
i'm just glad that the play hasn't ended..

now where were we? oh yes! in the middle of the introduction..
on with the play!! :)

rage.. calmness..

2007-04-09T22:08:00.000+08:00

rage rage oh glorious rage
there's no time to think
rationality disappears in a blink
rage rage oh glorious rage
i've seen its effects
all action and speech become very direct

hah.. it seems that i am too angry to finish this poem..

bye.

p.s.

calmness calmness oh sweet sweet calmness
'tis what a raging heart craves and desires
'tis what can soothe its raging fires
calmness calmness oh sweet sweet calmness
i need you now, my sanity is at stake
oh please drown me in your serene lake

sincerity..

2007-04-09T20:21:00.000+08:00

today, i won't tire you with the things that i did..
instead, i will be sharing to you one of my views on sincerity..

sincerity.. hmm.. it has sooooo many aspects..
let's just focus on one..

sincerity in prayer.. specifically, the Catholics..
*note: this will most probably be a biased post*

last saturday to sunday, i "celebrated" (as we Catholics were taught to say) the Easter Vigil mass..
as our choir was singing, i observed the people who were also "celebrating" the mass..
it wasn't really that much of a "celebration"..
the people were just mumbling the memorized prayers.. they were just staring at the pictures as the readings were being perused.. some were just following whatever the commentator was saying.. "please sit." "please stand." "please kneel."
and yes, i know.. since i was able to observe all of these, i was obviously one of those people who weren't really sincerely "celebrating" the mass..
but.. come on.. cut us some slack.. after years of doing the same routine over and over, it was bound to become monotonous and boring..
the only thing that we had the power to change was the selection of songs.. yey us!! :))

anyway, i think you get my point..
the rituals and ceremonies of the Catholic church have already been repeated so many times.. they have no intention of even modifying it just a little bit..
and everything's so rehearsed..
because of all of these, the people have been gradually losing their sincerity whenever they "celebrate" mass..

hah! isn't this post so ironic?
i'm saying these things and yet i am a Catholic.. or am i...? :))

hmm.. well.. that's all..
at least i actually put something meaningful in this post..

to devout Catholics, i mean you no harm.. peace.. :D :)>-
i'm just saying, a little excitement and change might do our religion some good..
it might actually strengthen our faith..
but hey, that's just me.. :)

i better end this post before i say anything *insert desired adjective here*..
after all, religion is a very sensitive topic..

bbye!! :P

hapi easter..

2007-04-08T21:37:00.001+08:00

oh yes.. happy easter to everyone..

happy 6th sort of monthsary.. :))

sorry.. i'm not really in the mood to update..
despondency has obviously struck me once again..

bbye.

...sounds familiar..

2007-04-07T15:42:00.001+08:00

i am updating my blog for the sake of it being updated..

hmm.. sounds familiar.. :))

execrate me if you must

2007-04-06T22:30:00.000+08:00

a sudden surge of emotions..
and.. tada!
another poem.. ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

execrate me if you must
for the slightest touch sets me off
like a land mine awaiting its victim
showing no mercy to anyone
so execrate me if you must

excrate me if you must
for i find the most blithe wonders of life loathsome
like a bitter old hag muttering to herself
showing no compassion to anyone
so execrate me if you must

excrate me if you must
for i pay no heed to everything
like a man in solitary confinement
showing no concern to anyone
so execrate me if you must

execrate me if you must
for only animosity fills my heart
like a battered child who was never given love
showing no gratitude to anyone
so execrate me if you must

execrate me if you must
for if the truth be told, you've changed all of that
like a silent fool never displaying her true emotions
showing only the contrary to you
so execrate me if you must

ambulating..

2007-04-06T21:53:00.000+08:00

i've missed ambulating with my friends..
just ambulating around the soccer field..
walking in cyberzone..

i miss those moments..

today, what did i do?

not much..
watched tv..
watched tv..
watched "The Ugly Duckling and Me"..
went to church..
walked for almost 2 hours..
went home..
rested..
and here i am..

such a boring day..

but i did find "The Ugly Duckling and Me" very cute and funny..
Ugly was sooooooooooooo adorable.. :D

since it's late [?], and i'm tired..
i'm going to cut this post short..

bbye!

ho hum..

2007-04-05T20:34:00.000+08:00

today was definitely duller than yesterday..
but hey, maybe some excitement will transpire later on when we go on our annual bisita iglesia..

but i highly doubt it.

hmm..
today..
i woke up at around 12 noon..
ate lunch..
watched tv..
attended choir practice..
went home..
and here i am..

next topic.. hmm..

i am desperately in need of a way to get out of my "freezing dilemma"..
if you know what i mean..
i've actually thought of breaking my leg or giving myself pneumonia..
after all, i've still got a few weeks... yes, i am dead serious.. and very determined..

i know what you guys are thinking.. why not just tell them? tell them i refuse to concede their "gelid conditions"..
i tried once.. i didn't really tell them.. i just implied it..
and what did they tell me?
it's a once in a lifetime opportunity.. they would never be able to give that to me.. i should just take it while it's there.. while it's being offered to me..

yes, i understood their side..
but i was never really given the chance to decide first..
piggy made all the decisions for me..
and what did stupid ada do?
she chose the cruise date, she helped piggy fill out the form for ada's visa..
ada let it get this far.. now, there's very little chance that she'll still be able to consummate her summer plans..

*why the heck am i referring to myself using the third person POV?*

if i tell them that i don't want to go because i want to take classical guitar lessons, what will they say?
~ you can take lessons anytime.. but this, this doesn't come along very often..
what would i think to myself? (yes, i rarely speak my mind)
~ but i've been planning to take lessons this summer all year long.. i even told my mom about it.. i guess she forgot..

if i tell them that i don't want to go because i think 3 weeks is too long and i'm with piggy ONLY, what will they say?
~ she's family! what's wrong with having to stay with ONLY her for 3 weeks? you live with her here, you can live with her there!!
~ offers like those come once in a blue moon.. you should be thankful that you're staying there for 3 weeks..
what would i think to myself?
~ people get home sick.. for me, 3 weeks is way too long.. and yes, i live with piggy.. but at least there are other people with us, specifically my sister.. she won't be there with us, which makes the 3-week "vacation" worse..

if i tell them that i don't want to go because of 7_ ! () \, what will they say?
~ so you want to pass up this offer because of him?! it's just 3 weeks.. and you're still very young.. you'll meet a lot of other people..
what would i think to myself?
~ you don't know how i feel about this whole situation.. i was never able to deicide for myself.. you never considered what i wanted.. and yeah, sure.. i will still meet a lot of other people.. but i won't care about them the way i care about him.. of all the people, you guys should know how love affects/changes a person.. 3 weeks away from him may sound like a short time to you, but for me, it's like 3 decades.. i know you guys love me, so why can't you even respect or accept my reason..? because my reason is just a boy? well, he's a boy that i love.. please respect that..

but of course.. they will never know any of that..
and i will be forced to freeze in the distance...

and so, i end this post..

bbye.

*please excuse the errors in this post.. if there are any..*

dullness..

2007-04-04T20:48:00.000+08:00

as usual.. i am going to relay to you today's dull events..
since i have suddenly received a number of posts in my tagboard, i now know that people still do care.. i feel so motivated to not disappoint them..

anyway.. enough with the crappy introduction..
it's obviously one of my subtle ways to make this post longer..

so... what happened today..?

i woke up..
got ready for the review class..
fetched iya..
went to kostka..
reviewed geometry..
ate lunch at red ribbon.. their service sucked..
reviewed chemistry.. zZzZzZz...
ate at shakey's with iya, my folks, and my FAT bro..
took iya to her home..
went home..
etcetera etcetera etceteraaaaaaaa..

yes.. a very dull day indeed..

well.. today, of course, still had its comedic side..
'nakangiti cya." *with matching pose*

and this lovely modified "quotation"..
chefs out there, if you want to flirt with someone and get rejected, just say these lines to that person:
"you know what, i think you're one hot dish. if i were to cook you, i'd marinate you in a special sauce with just the right amount of sweetness, tenderize you with tons of kisses, and then cook you in the warmth of my love."

how.....sweet....? :-/ :))

another lovely "quotation"..
"spread the love. don't read the shoebox labels."

haha.. you have to know the story behind it to be able to get the punchline..

anywaaaaaaay...
i might post another poem again..

i'm finding it reeeaaaaaalllly vexatious.. *sigh*

that's all for today.. goodbye class.. =P

bbye.

btw, please excuse any type of error in this post.. if there are any.

another update..

2007-04-03T20:37:00.000+08:00

yes.. i am once again updating my blog..
i guess i don't have much to do that's why i now have time for my precious blog..

another update.. although based on the posts in my tagboard, no one seems to care..
oh well.. life is just so freakin' peachy.

today.. hmm... what can i say about today's events..?
definitely better than yesterday..

english.. easier.. MUCH easier..
math.. third year lessons.. better.. MUCH better..

but i was also "ms. grogita" almost the whole day..
actually, even ina and iya were "ms. grogitas"..

hmm..
what else what else what else?

i don't really have anything to say anymore..
but i must keep typing.. i must... i must..

maybe, just maybe.. if i make my posts longer, someone will actually read them..
haha. just kidding..

i know my blog isn't really worth visiting.... *sniff* *oh the freakin' DRAMA!!!*

this post is all over the place..
i'm jumping from one topic to another..
haha. bear with me..
i'm desperately trying to make this post longer.. :))

oh oh!! i've finally thought of a topic.. :))

hmm.. you see.. our review class isn't exactly.. a class.. we're more of a group of people who don't know each other, but go to the same place everyday to review for their college entrance tests..

but there are some friendly people out there..
like nanny/nani/nanni/nannee/nanee.. i obviously don't know how to spell her name..
but she's really nice.. so is ruth..

hmm.. speaking of friends, today, i ran into a friend of mine..
miggy.. :) we see each other every week [church/choir] but we never really talk.. i think we haven't spoken in over a year.. haha.. what a wonderful friendship.. but we did today.. that was nice..
he's also taking review classes.. also in expert guides.. but in a different batch.. nice life.. nice life.. ;)

i think this post is long enough.. haha...

okay.. so there.. another post which no one will read..

bbye.. :)

thanks for everthing Lord..
i love you..

nyargh..

2007-04-02T22:41:00.001+08:00

today sucks..
today was boring, dull, and... did i say boring..?

well, not entirely.. i was still able to get some laughs with ina and iya..

but the review class..
*zZz*
and the tests, especially in vocabulary, were BOGUS..
sure, i know those are REAL words.. but guess what? laymen DON'T use those words.. and i'm one of them..

for example, why in the world would you use the word somnambulist instead of sleepwalker??
it simply isn't done.. haha. just joking..

my scores were low.. VERY low.. nice.. another self-esteem booster for me..
now, i feel like i know everything.. *note the sarcastic tone*

i feel like shit..
i don't know why..
i guess i really am going mad.. oh well..

people in the house are you ready???
yup.. they are definitely ready..
ready to provoke my tendencies to become legally insane..

piggy..
she's a bitch.. very mean and hot-headed.. her face is always.. hmm.. how do i describe her constant expression? let's just say she looks like shit.. yeah, i know.. i'm mean.. but so is she.. i also hate it whenever she tells us her oh-so-wonderful stories.. she ALWAYS exaggerates everything.. and she talks as if she knows everything.. she always wants to have her way.. especially when it comes to food..

prune..
ahh yes.. the wrinkly one.. i hate her.. her voice bugs me.. her walk bugs me.. everything about her bugs me.. can't wait 'til she dies..

her..
she's nice.. i love her.. of course i do.. i'm just not fond of telling her the things that i do everyday.. she always asks me while i'm eating or in the car and it really irritates me..

him..
he's nice.. i love him.. of course i do.. like her, he also asks too many questions.. not as many as her, but i still don't like it..

she..
kinda like my buddy.. although sometimes she is also mean to me.. i don't mind.. after all, it's her job to be mean to me.. but she rarely does that anymore.. which is really nice.. :)

he..
just a boy.. just an ordinary boy.. he has done me no wrong.. but he's acquired some disgusting traits from piggy and prune.. that sucks.. oh well.. i'll just have to be mean to him.. after all, it is also my duty.. but, of course, i'll still be nice to him once in a while..

and those are the people who in their little or huge ways, make my life a living heaven or hell everyday.. mostly hell..

that's all folks.. bbye.

[[if there are any grammatical or typographical errors in this post, LIVE WITH IT.]]

O_o

2007-03-28T19:53:00.001+08:00

i will describe today's events in a word, a phrase, an acronym, and a sentence..
if you're lucky.. i might elaborate today's unusual events.. although i do not wish to do so.

mainit.
medyo boring.
wtf.
what the eff just happened?

so there.. now isn't this just a lovely post? :P
if you'd like to read a meaningful post wherein you'd have to ponder on what i mean.. read my previous post..

just type "archives" beside my navigator, then click "decode nio! :P"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lord, thanks for helping me once again this schoolyear..
i never expected the best in mapeh award.. :))
thank You so much.. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

next sy won't be the same without you around..
do me a favor.. don't make your schedule too hectic..
wait until i'm in college too.. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it seems that you're unlucky.. `coz i won't be elaborating today's events.. :P

farewell!! :)

decode nio! :P

2007-03-26T22:21:00.001+08:00

i lie awake every night..

drowning in weariness and melancholy
only sorrow fills my heart
nothingness surrounds me
'tis but a nightmare while i am awake

whilst i lie like a corpse
awaiting the earth to devour me, i anticipate my resting place
netherworld perhaps? i pray not
that would be immeasurable suffering

trickling down my forehead is my fear, and down my cheeks is my sadness
over yonder lands, i see gleeful faces. in their state, i shall never be.

grief is the cry of my heart!
overwhelmed by the torments of life.

trying and failing to attain bliss
oblivious is my state, deplorable yet inconspicuous

as i lie blind to the world,
looking at the darkness that envelopes me
as i lie deaf to the world,
silencing the silence that surrounds me
kindness is my desire, sanctuary is my vision
as i lie dead to the world, all fade as i dream of you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

simple lang nais nian sabihin..
isang sentence lng.. less than 10 words..
mababasa nio mismo sa poem.. ;)

enter key.. enter key.. enter key..

2007-03-17T07:42:00.000+08:00

wala akong magawa..
kaya mag-uupdate ako..
*enter key* *enter key* *enter key*

teachers teachers teachers..
*sigh*
let's take a look at our beloved teachers for this schoolyear..

english teacher..
i honestly think that he's one of the best teachers that i've had.. i've kinda seen him at his best and somewhat at his worst.. it's not that i didn't like what i saw when i [somewhat] saw his worst.. but.. hmm.. there's just something about him.. it's like whatever i do that may concern him, i have to do it well because i want to get a thumbs-up from him.. maybe he's my favorite teacher.. haha. i honestly don't know..

chemistry teacher..
teacher.. NOT student teacher.. >:)
hmm.. during the first part of the schoolyear i really liked him because he was always smiling.. not only that, he's also a very good teacher.. because of him, i actually like chemistry..
i'm sorry to say this but he is also.. quite moody.. there are times when he always flashes his killer smile at us.. there are times when he finds such great faults in our most miniscule/minuscule mistakes.. *sigh*

ap..
notice the lack of the word TEACHER? haha. >:) well, that's because i believe that she does not know how to teach.. maybe she did.. a little.. during the first quarter.. aside from that.. no comment. she is such an IDEFINITE LADY.. and you know what? i think she's addicted to debates.. anyway.. on to the next teacher.. i've said too much..

filipino teacher..
she's.. hmm.. i can't say moody because most of the time her mood is...
angry? pressured? constipated???
haha. just joking.. it's just that she's always sooooooooooooo irritable.. but she did discuss the chapters of noli me tangere quite well.. except during the last part because she rushed it.. one more thing that i don't like about her is that she frequently gives us a lot of things to do in a very short period of time.. *chemistry vs. filipino*

p6 teacher..
he's our dear adviser.. and we love him very much.. :) awww.. :) he's very kind and giving..
but during the first and second quarter, i don't think he was an effective teacher..
third and fourth.. thumbs-up. :)
but he has also become a slave driver this quarter.. >:( haha. he imprisons us, his oh-so-very obedient class, and makes us check papers.. and tally scores.. things that he should be doing..
but it's all good.. we still love him.. :)

mapeh teacher..
ah yes.. our ever-so-talented teacher.. just like our previous mapeh teachers, she lets the different groups report.. what sets her apart is the fact that she still manages to teach us despite the fact that some one is reporting in front.. and she does this with poise.. haha.
but sometimes, her requirements are not so easy to fulfill.. but we manage to.. because we have to.. :)

values..
another "teacher" who deserves the lack of the word teacher..
all i have to say is..
we don't need this stupid subject. all we need is our common sense.

tle hand-outs giver..
she's not a teacher.. she's an assigner.. a hand-out giver.. nothing more.. and maybe even less..
>:)

math teacher..
also one of my favorites..
very handsome.. haha. :D the best teacher that i've had in my entire life.. :)
need i say more? :D

btw.. sigmahead does not deserve to be included in this post. (-_-)

haha.. lang kwenta tlga mag-update.. geh... bbye!!

update..!

2007-03-13T18:44:00.000+08:00

i am updating my blog for the sake of it being updated.

and now that it has been updated...

BYE! :P

mom's right.. (T_T)

2007-02-25T18:35:00.001+08:00

my mom's right..
i have changed.. and it sucks. :'(

i always saw myself as the type of person, or should i say "lover", who was always able to give back the same amount of love that the other person gave me.. maybe even more..

but now.. i've realized that i'm no longer that person..
yes, i have to admit it.. my "bad habit" is actually starting destroy me.. ruin my life.. take over my personality..

to you:
i'm really sorry.. i've hurt you loads of times and yet, you're still here.. you're still with me.. i really think that i don't deserve someone as forgiving as you..
*oh the drama!!*

you're my angel..
and i love you..
and i'm very thankful that God gave you to me..

i'm sorry about everything..
especially the past week.. it was an emotional roller coaster..
:'(

i'll make it up to you..
to all of you..

to my friends:
i'm really sorry.. `coz i know i've been very irritable this week..
a lot of things have just been really stressing me out..

to my family:
i don't know what to say to you guys..
maybe i should apologize to you guys too..
but you should also apologize to me..
i'm not the only one who's changed..
we've all changed..
ever since lolo died.. we haven't been a real "family"..

*sigh*
i guess i really do need you and You..
especially now.. :'(

to God:
Lord, You don't know how sorry i am..
well, of course You do.. but.. *sigh* You know what i mean..
i'm really sorry because i broke my promise to You.. over and over again..
i'll do my best to keep it this time..

to you (again):
i'm really sorry because i almost broke my promiseS to you.. :'''''''(
don't worry.. i plan on keeping it this time..

jessa:
thanks for everything..
and sorry about last night.. :(

*sigh*

help me....

(T_T)

walang kwenta ang post na 'to..

2007-02-22T22:32:00.000+08:00

bakit nga ba ganun noh?
haay.. masyadong mabilis ang mga pangyayari.. masyadong mabilis ang buhay..
ang mga akala ko noong ndi na magbabago, unti-unting nawawala na sa akin..
ang mga bagay na ndi ko aakalaing kaya kong gawin, ay ginawa ko na..
bakit ba lagi nlang ganito?
ewan ko ba..
ang gulo..

sana talaga maintindihan mo ako..
para sau nman 'to eh..
sus, kung para sakin lng, ndi ko un ginawa..
kaso mas mahalaga ka.. kaya aun..
haay.. nakakalungkot nga lng..

i hope someday u can find some way to understand i'm only doing this for u.. i don't really wanna go but deep in my heart i know this is the kindest thing to do.. u'll find someone who'll be the one that i could never be..

cguro tatanggihan mo yan.. pero..
totoo yan eh..
sabi ko nga sau knina.. ayaw mo lng aminin sa sarili mo..
haay.. ang hirap nman nito..

as i erased your messages one by one.. tears started streaming down my face.. it was the most painful thing to do.. to force myself to slowly erase you from my life..

mahirap din 'to para sa akin at hindi ko rin nman alam kung ano na ung mga mangyayari sa atin..
bahala na..
ewan ko..

ayoko na ng ganito.. haay..

payo..

2007-02-18T21:10:00.001+08:00

dahil malungkot ako, magtatagalog ako..

hmm.. kwento kwento kwento..
aun.. halos buong linggo ako sa sala natulog..
kakapagod ung rehearsals eh..

tpos.. nu pa ba?
dami nanamang nangyari ngaung linggo..

lunes..
badtrip ung stat..
war.. isnab..

martes..
peace..
cut!!
war nanaman..
punch punch punch..
break..
waaaaaag..
edi wag.

miyerkules..
peace..
hilo.. gutom..
ang daming taooooooo!!!!
jollibee..

huwebes..
la akong maalala.. hehe..

biyernes..
lakad..
cyberzone..
daddy..
teenage mutant ninja turtles..
silence.....

sabado..
iyak..
kababawan ko..
war?
punch punch punch..
peace!!
calendarrrrr!!! :D

aun..
senxa na kung ang gulo magkwento..
kung pagkwekwento man ang matatawag mo dun..

aun lng..

bbye!

___________________________________________________________________

sayo:

wag mong pansinin ung mga taong gumagawa ng mga storya tungkol sau.. lalo na kung walang katotohanan dun sa mga cnasabi nila..
sabi sakin ng adviser ko nung grade 6 ako, inggit lng ung mga un.. pabayaan mo clang pahiyain ang sarili nila..
cguro nga totoo un..
heartthrob ka.. natural na maraming magseselos kaya nila cguro naicpang gawin un.. cla lng ang mapapahiya kasi cla ang nagkakalat ng kasinungalingan..
wag mo nlang cla pansinin.. they don't deserve your tears..
la clang kwenta.. basta, ang importante.. alam mong ndi un totoo at nandyan parin ang mga kaibigan mo na alam mong ndi paniniwalaan ang mga ganung bagay..

at sayo nman:

kaya mo rin yan.. alam kong mahirap sa ngaun pero kakayanin mo yan..
cguro sobrang nasaktan ka nung nakita mo un.. mlamang ndi ka sanay na sa iba nia ginagawa un.. i mean, ung iba ung kasama nia.. ung kinakausap nia ng matagal..
ganun tlga.. sariwa pa ang mga sugat..
payo ko lng sayo.. kung gusto mo na tlga makalimot, sabihin mo sa mga kaibigan mo.. kahit ndi sakin.. basta dpat may masabihan ka ng mga naiicp mo.. mga nararamdaman mo..
cguro iniicp mo na kapag iniwasan ung topic na un, mawawala nlang..
ndi ganun un.. ilabas mo na lahat.. pigain mo sarili mo sa kakakwento tungkol dun..
cguro sa una iicpin mong ndi effective kasi lagi mong naiicp.. laging napapag-usapan..
pero magsasawa ka rin.. basta dapat wala kang idedeny..
tanggapin mo ung mga nararamdaman mo tlga.. at tutulungan ka nlang ng mga kaibigan mo na ipaglaho ung mga nararamdaman mo kung un ang gusto mong mangyari o kung un ang dapat na mangyari..
alam ko nman kasi na ayaw niniong 2 ung nangyari at nangyayari ngaun eh..

kung naintindihan mo yan.. edi kasama ka sa mga binibigyan ko ng payo..
sana mabasa niniong 2..

___________________________________________________________________

sa totoo lng.. kelangan ko rin ng payo ngaun.. pero aus lng yan.. ndi nman ganun ka-seryoso ung problema ko eh..
nakakalungkot lng tlga..

geh.. bbye na tlga..

p.s.

2007-02-10T16:48:00.001+08:00

sa mga ndi ko nasayaw na dapat isasayaw ako..
sori.. psenxa na.. may next pa nman eh..
naiintindihan nio nman cguro ako.. :)

aun lng po.. hehe.. pahabol lng.. :D

"prom hangover.."

2007-02-10T13:47:00.000+08:00

yes indeed.. i do have a prom hangover..
i had so much fun last night..

"it was the best night of my life.."

nothing went according to plan..
a lot of things went wrong..
and there were some parts that i didn't enjoy..

it was PERFECT. :)

yes.. even though

my "beautification" was crammed because of this guy at the salon who had black hair but still wanted to dye his hair black. (stupid guy.)
i left my stub at home. (stupid me. good thing our house is just 5 mins. away from the venue.)
i had a migraine while waiting in line for the registration because of the ever so bright flashes of the cameras. (stupid sudden flashes of light.)
my curly hair was no longer curly by the time we were dancing because as i said before, my "beautification" was crammed. (stupid guy who already has black hair but still wants to dye his hair black because of his girlfriend who probably doesn't even care about his stupid hair color.)
a lot of guys unintentionally bumped into me when we were dancing and i almost lost my balance. (stupid lack of space.)
my gown was on way too tight. (stupid fats. yeah, i know. i'm fat.)
iya's hair hit my eyes while she was dancing. (stupid.... NOTHING! haha..)
i had an instantaneous migraine "attack" so we had to sit down. (stupid migraine.)
i thought he wouldn't come back in time for the last dance. (stupid time. why must time fly when i'm having so much fun?)
they turned the lights on during the last last dance. (stupid person/s who turned the lights on. or better yet, stupid person/s who told the stupid person/s who turned the lights on to turn the lights on.)
i didn't get to "slap" him. (stupid... erhmm.. ... nothing.. :D)
i didn't get to meet his dad. (maybe next time.)

everything about last night was still perfect.. :)

why wouldn't it be? after all

my ever so dear iyalabs waited for me for about half an hour (?) before she registered. (thank you iyalabs.)
my ever so dear iyalabs accompanied me while i waited for my parents to bring the stub. (thank you iyalabs. pa-rents are... the best.)
i was able to take a lot of pictures. (ahh.. wonderful memories.)
the food was great. (mmm... yummy!!)
i was able to dance and not care about how i looked. (although i know that i looked like a buffoon.)
i saw him dance. (we looked like buffoons. haha.)
i learned how to slow dance. (we're fast learners. ;))
i actually felt really pretty last night. (just last night. haha.)
i had a lot of fun last night. (why wouldn't i? i was with him most of the time.)
iya and i were able to dance "toogsh-toogsh" dance.
nothing embarrassing happened to me. (thank God. :))
he was my first and last dance for the night. (yey. :D)

how i wish i could turn back time..
everything was just so wonderful, so great, so fantastic, so...

PERFECT. :)

*sigh*
i'm being repetitive..
it's just that..

it really was the best night of my life..

i know that next year won't be as much fun without you..
it won't be the same..
maybe i won't even go anymore..
not without you there..
anyway, just go with the flow..

thank You so0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0oo0o0o0o much for everything Lord..
i love you Lord..
:)

i love you zion.. :)
thanks for everything..
you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. :)

pppprrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmm...

2007-02-09T13:08:00.000+08:00

prom na mmya.. heeheehee..

la lng..

excited na ako..

sana maging masaya..

:D

you are loved (don't give up)

2007-02-06T19:40:00.000+08:00

Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
When your heart's heavy
I, I will lift it for you

Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I, I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
(you guys don't even the half of it... gosh, i've been keeping a lot of things inside since i was in elem...)
When you're lost inside
I, I'll be there to find you

Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I, I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved
You are loved

(Aaaah)

Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
Don't give up
Everyone needs to be heard
You are loved

obviously, i've listened to the whole song..

don't give up....

2007-02-06T19:24:00.000+08:00

i know.
i admit it.
i am pessimistic.
no, VERY pessimistic.
but because God has already given me so much, i've been trying to be optimistic.
i've been trying my best. i've been trying really hard.
but it NEVER works out.

i just can't get it.
i hate being pessimistic.

but thinking that i'll never succeed in anything actually makes me succeed in a lot of things.
and now that i'm doing my best to be a positive thinker, nothing great is really happening to me (well, aside from him).
sure, my grades are improving, but that's because:
1. i worked my butt off to get those grades because i wanted to prove to "a certain someone" that he is not a distraction.
and
2. i am a pessimist when it comes to grades.

*sigh*
isn't life just so pathetically ironic?

i don't know how to think anymore. [and if you're thinking that i can't think anymore, haha. that's very funny... NOT.]
i mean, i don't want to be a negative thinker anymore, but being a positive thinker makes my life suck.

argh!! this is so irritatingly confusing.
here i go again.
tsk tsk tsk...

i'm thinking too much.

even this has to stop.
so, i have to stop my being pessimistic and my stupid habit of overthinking.

you know what?
i give up.
i know that i definitely don't want my life to suck.
so i'll just have to be a pessimist.

[oh how ironic is this..
as i was typing "i give up.", Josh Groban's You Are Loved (Don't Give Up) plays on the radio..
i didn't hear the whole song, but of all the songs...
WHY THAT ONE???
why did it have to be the song that he sang to me when i was practically sawing my hand off..?
why did it have to be the song that he sang to me when i was planning "the end"?
why that one...?]

life is truly ironic...

so, God... what do you want me to do now?
just keep on doing what i'm doing right now?
do you want me to just keep hiding everything?
to make people think that i'm fine by always smiling and laughing?

maybe i should...

maybe i will...

i guess i should...

i guess i will...

what a week..

2007-02-03T20:46:00.000+08:00

english mode..
*ahem..*

what an interesting week this has truly been..
so many things have happened..
waw.. O_o

sunday..
WAR!!!
2..
haaii.. buhay nga nman..

monday..
[the heck!! wag na nga english mode!!! hehe.. ]
aun.. inaus.. tpos..
(T_T)..
basta.. un na un.. ;)
tpos.. shake hands..
aus..
pasenxa na pla kung ndi nio maintindihan ah..

tuesday..
practice pra sa prom..
[waw.. daming nangyari ah.. :P]

wednesday..
aun.. la akong maalala.. heehee.. :P

thursday..
poetry slam finals..
"suntukan"..
wag kang bibitiw baklaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
a-loo-loo-loo-loo-loo...
teehee..
haay.. mga kabaliwan tlga.. :)

friday..
mcdo.. good evening po..
st paul's.. good evening po..
hehe.. aus.. :)

saturday..
1st communion ni anton..
hatid..
yehey!!

ayan..

mlamang wala kaung naintindihan.. hehe..

senxa na..

salamat sa lahat Panginoon..

geh..

bbye!! :)
i love you po kuia jordan.. :) :-*

LIAR

2007-01-28T19:03:00.000+08:00

you are unbelievable.

how dare you lie to me.

you know very well that I HATE DIRTY LIARS.

crap.

2007-01-28T16:40:00.000+08:00

nais ko sanang magkwento sa inio..
kay rami na ring nangyari..
duet.. bohemian.. at marami pang iba..
ngunit wala akong ganang magkwento ngaun..
pasenxa na kau..

eto lamang ang kasalukuyang maiaalay ko sa iyo na nagbabasa ng aking munting blog na inaamag na..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

please do not misinterpret this post..
it is not about me being unable to move on or any crap related to that.
this is also not about my bad habit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i've been trying..
i've been trying for months now..
and i thought that i no longer felt that way..
there was a time that i actually thought that i was over it..
but.. i guess i'm still not..
and it sucks because it's worse than before..

damn. i feel so selfish.. so.. so.. so bitchy..

i promised my self before that i would not become like "that"..
but was has freakin' happened to me?!
gosh.
first, that..
then now, this..!

omg.. *sigh*

why do i feel this way..?
i mean, i wasn't like this before..
i also promised myself before that i wouldn't share a conflict this bad with anyone..
but i couldn't take it anymore.
so i told a little monkey up in a tree.. ;)

and i asked the little critter..
"am i bad for feeling that way?"
"medyo."
of course, i knew that "medyo." was an understatement..

oh well..

but wait a minute..
why the heck am i telling you all of this?
i'm sorry.. you don't have to be a part of my problems..
so i guess i'll just end this crappy post..

bye.

ang tanda ko na... :P

2007-01-20T20:12:00.000+08:00

heeheehee.. tagalog muna..
ndi ko feel mag-ingles..

ilang oras nlang..
tatanda na ako.. hehe.. :D
buhay.. la lng.. ayoko pa.. :P

hmm.. kwento kwento kwento..
magkwekwento ako tungkol sa mga huling araw ko bilang isang 15 y/o..

biyernes..
perio.. "aus" ng gamit sa locker..
tambay dito, tambay dun..
kain sa mcdo.. as usual.. tsk tsk.. tataba ako nito eh.. :P
lakad-lakad sa cyberzone.. sa sm main.. sa the block.. sa annex..
nakakapagod pla.. :))
REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY.. >:)) peace tau ah.. :)
commute pauwi.. sabay hanggang pantranco.. *gay magnet.. :P*
pagkauwi.. tv.. tulog..
pagkagising.. kain.. y!m.. ligo.. y!m.. tv.. tulog..

sabado..
gising.. check ng cellphone..
may nagpa-e-load sakin.. cno kya..? hmmm... :-?
dahil may load na ako, tnxt ko cya..
tpos.. tv.. kain.. tv.. aus ng damit.. kain.. tv.. tulog.. gising.. bihis.. sm..
sa sm.. libot-libot..
nung papunta sa nike.. nakita ko c kevin.. kasama ang lablayp.. hehe..
tpos.. pagkatpos nmin (ate, mommy, ako) kumain sa cinnabon [hindi nlang ako tumutol dahil gusto nila dun.. ako cyempre, ayoko.. nahihilo ako sa amoy ng cinnamon eh..] nakita ko ung iba kong batchm8s sa holy..
last day kasi ng perio nila ngaun.. BUTI PA CLA..
at least sa knila, hindi pinaghiwalay.. tsk tsk tsk.. >:)
cyempre binati ko cla.. usap ng onti.. nxt wk na fair ng holy.. punta tau!! :D
tpos.. libot-libot ulit.. may nakita ulit akong batchm8s sa holy pero ndi ko na cla binati.. ndi kmi "buddies" eh.. :)
tpos.. bili ng chuva.. uwi..
nung pauwi na, tnxt ko cya.. nahilo ako.. muntik ng ma-burrwakk pero pinigilan..
daan sa vanmick's.. order ng cheness para bukas.. uwi..
pagkauwi.. tv.. higa.. zZzZzZzZz..
pagkagising.. check ng cellhpone.. tv.. net.. kain.. net..
at eto na..

mmm...
aun lng..
haaii.. tanda ko na!! :P

geh.. hanggang dito nlang muna..

salamat po sa lahat Panginoon.. :)
salamat din sau.. senxa na nung friday.. hehe.. :D

geh.. bbye!! :D

update..!

2007-01-16T20:20:00.000+08:00

yes! i'm back!!
haha.
after more than a week.. a [more than a] week of hectic and almost sleepless nights, i've finally found the time to update my blog!!
my oh so very lovely, decomposing blog..
what the heck is wrong with me?
why am i so [freaking] happy?
hahahahahahaha. :))

i feel so relieved. :)
long tests are finally over, i get a break from those very tiring "grease" rehearsals, and i have one whole day to SLEEP, watch tv, and "study" for the periodical tests..
hmm.. shouldn't i be worried about the periodical tests?
NAH!! i'll stress about them later.. right now, i just wanna do whatever i want..
and think about the periodical tests is definitely NOT one of them..

*sigh*
happy happy happy.. :)
yeah.. i've still got problems..
but.. hmm.. they don't bother me that much anymore.. :D
thank you.. :) thank You.. :D

taeng post 'to ah.. ang kulit.. ang gulo.. hehe..
cge.. ndi ko na pahahabain pa.. last na 'to..

jan. 13, 2007... saturday..
la lng. :P

geh.. tama na nga..

salamat po sa lahat Panginoon.. :)

bbye! :)

hmm...

2007-01-07T18:35:00.000+08:00

why am i updating my blog?
i've got nothing to say..
*sigh*

tae. ano ba nman yan.. tagalog na nga.

wala nman tlga akong msasabi..
puro walang saysay nnman ilalagay ko dito..

uhmm.. hmm..

nagwala nanaman ako knina sa keyboard at gtara..
pero ndi masyado kasi wala ako energy dahil 3 1/2 oras lng ang tulog ko at andun c gio..
tinitignan ako habang tumutugtog ako..
ang kyut kyut nia kaya nawawala ung pagkabadtrip ko..

tpos.. hmm.. ano pa ba..?
28 encounting.....?
ayoko na. pwede bang 28 nlang? tama na..

ndi dahil nakasasama sa akin kundi dahil nahihirapan ka na..
tpos ako pa ung may ksalanan.. ayoko ng ganun..

wala n tlga akong masabi..
wala nman masyadong nangyari ngaung araw na 'to eh..

natulog ako..
nanood ng tv..
nagbasa ng notes habang paulit-ulit na pinapakinggan ung "stay" ni lisa loeb..
NDI ng kweshee..

aun.. nag-antay ng txt..
nag-aantay ngaun sa y!m..

haay.. amboring nman ng post na 'to..

tama na nga.

bbye.

buhay nga nman..

2007-01-06T23:05:00.000+08:00

haay.. unang post sa 2007..

balak ko sana magkwento tungkol sa mga pinaggagagawa ko sa pangasinan kaso ang tagal na nun..
napakaraming pwedeng mangyari sa loob ng isang araw noh..?
la lng.. kasi.. wala pang isang linggo ng 2007.. ndi ko na nasunod ung "new year's resolution" ko..
2 pla un kaya resolutionS dpat..

hay naku. bkit kaya gnito ang buhay?
nkakaasar..

tsk tsk tsk.. ada tlga..
cmula plang ng taon, nagkakaganito na..

gusto ko lng nman magpasalamat kay yza, audrey, at cholo..

yza at audrey..
dahil ang saya saya ko knina sa practice ng bohemian rhapsody..
nakakapagod pero nag-enjoy ako..

cholo..
dahil pinahiram mo ako ng gitara mo..
at pagkatapos ng 7 buwan, nakagamit ulit ako ng beatbox..

ang saya magwala sa gitara..
pluck lng ng pluck.. tpos lipat sa strumming..
magwala sa strumming hanggang sa masakit na ung mga daliri mo..
ung nararamdaman mo ng matutuklapan ka nnman ng balat..
tumugtog lng ng tumugtog hanggang sa nangangalay na ang kamay at braso mo..
gumaan ang pakiramdam ko knina.. nung nagwawala ako sa gitara ni cholo..
tugtog lng ng tugtog.. ang sarap pakinggan nung beatbox..
ung pagsabay nia sa pag-strum mo..
ang sarap pakinggan.. ang saya magwala...
ilabas lng ang lahat ng galit sa mundo.. sa sarili mo.. sa buhay..
cguro iniicp lng knina ng mga kaklase ko nagpapsikat lng ako..
ndi eh.. ndi ko nga cla pinapansin eh..
sadyang kinailangan ko ng magwala dun.. aun.. ang saya..
dito kasi sa bahay, mag-isa lng akong maggtara.. ndi pa kmi nakakabili ng beatbox..
aun.. kaya.. parang walang epekto...

blade. gunting. bread knife. bubog. maliit na balisong. malaking balisong.
15 encounting..

haay.. ano ba nman yan..
unang post sa '07, gnito na kaagad..

tama na nga..
bbye na.

haaaaaay...

2006-12-28T00:58:00.000+08:00

eto.. last na tlga..
tuloi na tuloi na kmi mmya..
waah.. ayoko paaa.. :(

pero aun.. haay.. ganun tlga..
oh well..

cge.. bbye sa inio..

sa txt nlang po.. haay.. miss n miss n miss n nga kta, lalo pa ktang mamimiss.. :((
ingat ka po lagi.. alagaan ang sarili.. God bless..
i love you.. mmmmmwahuggsss.. :-* >:D< :)
sana bumilis na ang oras.. pikit nlang tau kapag nalulumbay..
andyan lng ang planet ERC ntin.. i love you..

wahahahahahahahahaha...

2006-12-26T20:38:00.000+08:00

may nangyari sa akiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin..

sooooooooooooobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang nakakahiyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

wahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

OMG!!!

>_<

~ senxa na.. kinailangan kong ilabas un eh.. hehe..
~ nga pla, ndi kmi natuloi sa pangasinan ngaun..

nakakahiya talagaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

>_<

engRish..

2006-12-25T22:09:00.000+08:00

*engRish mode*

another update..
hmm.. why? there's not much to talk about..
not much happened today..

today wasn't really a happy Christmas..
it was alright..
but i've had better..
i've had 14 better Christmases..

*sigh*
why?
well.. basically, today..
the dominant emotions that i had were angry and melancholic..
surprisingly, not alcoholic..

oh well.. i might update again..
i don't know..

wow. this update is a complete waste of your time..
i'm sorry you had to read it..
yeah.. i know.. there is no essence..
oh well. live with it.

*tagalog mode*

ada.. hinga..
pikit ka..

punta na tau sa sarili nating mundo..
sa mundong walang cutter, gunting, bubog, kahoy, bolpen, o kahit anong pwedeng gamiting panghiwa..
sa mundong ndi na ako iiyak kasi walang makakasakit sa akin kasi nandun ka..
sa mundo nating perpekto..
doon nlang tau.. habangbuhay...

ayan.. aus na ako..

pasko na.

2006-12-25T12:45:00.000+08:00

hapi bday Lord!!

pasko na.. pasko naaaaa..
wala lng..

cmulan natin ang kwento ko sa mga pangyayari kagabi..
chat.. chat.. chat..
ginulat pa ako.. langyangyan.. hehe..
chat.. chat.. chat..
pinsan.. pinsan.. pinsan..
chat.. chat.. chat..
tpos.. tinawag na ako ni ate..
bbye.. bbye.. bbye..
tono ng gtara.. practice.. laro sa electric.. hehe.. ang bano ko tlga..
magic sing.. pichur pichur.. etche-bureche..
boom tarat tarat.. olops.. etc etc..
galing mag-blues improv ni pinsaaaan!! turuan mo ako0o0o0o0o!! hehe.. :)

midnyt.. greet greet.. kiss.. hug.. chuva..
"merry kiss-mas!!"
kain kain kain..
txt.. txt.. txt..
nagkwentuhan kming magpipinsan.. napag-usapan : lablayp ko.. tpos.. lablayp ni ate.. tpos.. magulang nmin.. hehe..
bet.. bet.. bet..
bigayan na ng gifts..
ewan ko kung bkit, pero this yr.. super excited kmi ni ate na maka-tanggap ng mga regalo..
mas lalo na ako.. tuwing may natatanggap ako.. puniiiiiiit!!! [[ipod.. haha]]
hehe.. wala na akong paki sa card!! >:D

after nun..
same as always..
dice.. dice.. dice..
pero gumawa pa ako ng die.. alang mahanap eh.. hehe..
tpos.. ako ung may pinakaonting natanggap.. 220 lng.. hehehe.. malas ko.. :))

dumaan pla dito c win..haha.. ;)
tpos.. ano ba pa?

nakatulog ako sa sala.. past 4 na..
gcng nga mga 8:30..
simba ng 9:30..
uwi ng 11:00..
kain ng 11:10..

aun.. napansin nio ba na araw-araw akong nag-uupdate?
last na kasi 'to.. ewan.. bahala na..
baka mamaya may isa pa..

pupunta na kming pangasinan bukas eh..
aun.. haay..

txt txt nlang ah..

pikit ka..

dba madilim?
hehe.. joklng.. :)

i love you..

MaLiGaYaNg PaSkOoOoOoOoOoOo!!! bukas. :)

2006-12-24T21:19:00.000+08:00

lapit na Pasko..
update muna ako.. :)

knina.. pumunta kmi sa GH.. last minute shopping ni mommy..
nung papunta kmi.. may lamok sa loob ng kotse..
walang makapatay..
tpos.. c ate.. biglang pinalo ang pader ko.. hehe..
*ARAAAAY!!!* aun.. napatay ung lamok.. alangyang lamok yan oh.. chu-chu.. tsk tsk tsk.. hehe..
edi aun.. GH.. starbuckas muna.. libot.. bili.. cheness.. lunch.. libot.. bili.. uwi..

pagkauwi..
tinangglan ko ng strings ung gtara ni ate.. linagay ko un sa luma kong gtara..
haay.. nkakabanas.. may nawawalang parte dun sa lumang gtara ko.. ung dun sa may bridge.. basta.. ung puti dun..
nkakaasar.. isang araw, andun lng sa tabi ng gtara ko.. pagkauwi ko.. *poof!!* nawala na.. tae nman oh.. ndi ko na mahanap.. bahala na.. improvise.. be resourceful..
nagawan ko nman ng paraan kahit temporary lng..
tpos.. linagay ko ung lumang gtara ko dun sa case ni ate..
tpos.. lininis ko ung gtara ni ate.. grabe ang dumi!! kadiri na.. hehe..
tpos.. rinestring ko na ung gtara ni ate.. d'addario.. [tama ba spelling?] ang swerte mong craftsman ka..
haay.. naalala ko tuloi ung nawawalang yamaha strings ko..
cguro kinuha na ng mga ipis, langgam at daga dito sa bahay nmin.. pati na ung nawawalang parte ng gtara ko..
ginawang see-saw.. tpos ginamit sa tug-of-war ung strings ko..
hehe.. tama na imagination ada.. :))
eniwei.. pagkarestring.. lininis ko nman ung gtar stand ko.. at ung hard case ko.. at ung music stand ko..
tpos.. practice na kmi ni ate.. cyempre.. tono-tono paminsan-minsan..
haay.. ang galing tlga nmin pag nagsama.. haha.. kayabangan ko..!! >:)

eniwei.. nagsimba ako nung 7:30..
unang beses kong magsimba ng walang kasama..
well, andun din magulang ko pero wala akong katabi kasi nag-serve cla..
tpos.. uwi.. kain.. chat.. update.. eto.. aun na un.. hehe.. :)

excited na akong mag-Pasko.. gusto ko na buksan mga regalo sakin!! wahaha.. :))
pero.. miss na kita..

haay..

happy burtdei Jesus! :)
salamat po sa lahat Panginoon!! :)

maligayang Pasko sa iniong lahat!!... bukas.. :)

bbye!!

pikit ka..
andyan na ako sa tabi mo.. para magkasama tau ngaung Pasko..
ang saya dba?
mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal kita.. :)

Pasko na.. :)

kay raming pangyayari..

2006-12-23T20:32:00.000+08:00

napaicp ako ng malalim knina..
naicp ko lahat ng nangyari sa akin ngaung taong ito..
napakarami.
kung akala ko marami na noong nakaraang taon, mas marami pa pla ngaun..

unang beses na mas na-stress out ako nung summer kesa sa schoolyr..
unang beses kong naranasan ang iwanan ng minahal ko.. [nax..] sana ndi na maulit..
unang beses kong nagawang mag-rebound.. ndi ko sinasadya..
unang beses kong natutong mag-move on.. [may pangalawang beses ba?]
unang beses na ako'y nakasali sa musical..
unang beses na ndi ako nagkalat sa recital ko..
unang beses kong mag-attend ng worship kayna adrielle.. at pangalawa.. at pangatlo.. may pang-apat ba? ndi ko na maalala eh..
unang beses kong naramdaman na nanggago ako.. [sori ulit kahit wala na un sau..]
october 17.. :)
unang beses kong mag-commute pauwi ng mag-isa ng medyo late na..
unang beses kong lakarin ang cyberzone ng pabalik-balik lng.. [may kasama ako.. :)]
unang beses na may nagregalo sa akin ng napakalaking teddy bur.. :) [salamat ulit..:)]
unang beses na ndi ako natulog dahil may kausap ako sa telepono..
unang beses na ndi ganun kasaya ang panahon ng Pasko [para sa akin].. pero oo.. kahit papano, masaya parin..

at marami pang iba...

haay.. kahapon hanggang kaninang madaling araw..
nag-usap kmi sa telepono.. inabot kmi ng [approximately] 10 and a half hours..
parehas kming ndi na natulog..
cya'y nasa cavite ngaun.. la lng..
kay rami naming napag-usapan.. ang saya tlga makipagkwentuhan sa kania..
napag-usapan ang mga "nakaraan".. atbp..
tpos.. hmm.. salamat sau..
pikit ka...
laking tulong.. hanggang ngaun.. pati c poy-poy..
salamat tlga..
naicp ko lng knina.. ndi ba maaari ring mas nakakabuti ung ndi na tau makakapag-usap ulit sa telepono ngaung bakasyon?
la lng.. kasi.. kung ndi tau ganun kadalas mag-usap.. [ndi nman pwedeng magdamag na nagttxt..] ndi masyadong iicpin.. ndi masyadong malulumbay..
aun.. mas mabuti na cguro ito.. kahit ayaw ko..
haay.. miss na kita..

ngaung araw na 'to.. tinupad ko ang sabi mo..
matulog ako ng mahaaaaabang mahaba..
tpos itxt ka pagkagcng ko..
natulog ako ng mga 7.. nagising ng mga 2..
natulog ako ng gutom na gutom na.. kaso.. nabadtrip ako kaya naicpan ko nlang na magkulong sa kwarto at itulog nlang..
17 hours straight.. wala akong kinain..
kaya pagkagcng ko nung 2.. nood ng tv.. baba ng mga 2:30..
lamon.
tpos.. nung mga medyo past 3.. akyat.. nood ng tv..
naalala kita..
pikit ka..
nakatulog ulit ako..
nagising ako ng mga 6.. kasama ko na c anton sa kwarto.. cya na ung nanonood..
edi nanonood kmi..
wala pa atang 15 mins, nakatulog na ako ulit..
nagising ako medyo past 7.. bumaba kami ni anton mga 7:30..

haay buhay..
aun.. tulog.. kain.. tulog.. tulog.. kain..

dear kuia.. kamusta ka na dyan? ano balita?

nasan ka man ngaun [sa cavite].. ano mang oras na ika'y may kailangan..
im o txt ka sakin.. at parang nandito ka na rin.. parang nandito ka na rin..

pikit ka..
yinayakap na kita.. napakahigpit.. kiniss kita.. naramdaman mo ba?
oo.. nararamdaman ko..

parang nandito ka na rin..

poy-poy.. :)

2006-12-21T09:36:00.000+08:00

kahapon.. Christmas party.. aus nman.. masaya..
talong.. :))
dami ko ring nakain..
salamat sa mga nagregalo sa akin.. senxa na rin.. kasi ndi tlga ako mapagbigay ngaung Pasko.. wala kasi akong mabibigay eh.. hehe..

ang haba nung party namin.. hehe.. natuwa sa games.. :))

pagkatapos kumain.. exchange gifts..
tpos nun.. ay wala na.. ndi na ako naki-party.. hehe.. >:)
andun ako sa labas ng classrm..

tpos.. binigay nia sa akin c poy-poy.. hehehe.. salamat tlga.. sooooooooooobrang thank you.. :)
senxa na rin sa binigay ko sau.. kulang un eh..

tpos.. adventure nanaman ng tah.. hehe..
sumama c taba taba taba taba taba taba taba taba..
sori tlga sa abala ah..
magpapapic.. haay.. nagkawalaan pa..
parang field trip lng eh.. hehe.. pero aun.. aus lng..

tpos.. gala-gala sa the block..
quickly.. SLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE!!! :)) toy kingdom..!!! :))
tpos.. nagmoment c kuia.. hehe..
tinabihan nming lahat.. nag-moment na rin kmi..
may nakita akong.. *bur-wakk!!*
tinuro ko sa kania.. grabe nman kasi eh.. sa lahat ng lugar.. dun pa tlga..
yun ang tlga WALANG HIYA.. tsk tsk tsk.. O_o

lakad-lakad.. sugar not..
kuha pix.. ang pangit daw nming lahat.. hehehe.. >:)

tpos nun.. nagsiuwian na ang mga bading..
sinamahan nia ako sa mcdo..
nagpasundo nlang ako kasi ndi ko kayang mag-commute ng ganun karami ung dala..

sa mcdo..
*tawa* *tawa* *tawa*
poy-poy and poi-poi..
hehe.. ang saya..
pero ang lungkot..
kasi.. 2 linggo.. la lng.. :(

tpos.. sinundo na ako..
tpos.. sa car.. haay.. basta.. hmm.. sasabihin ko pa ba? isasama ko pa ba sa post na 'to..?
ndi nlang.. ndi nio nman kelangang malaman eh.. (-_-)

napakasaya at napakalungkot ng kahapon..
salamat sa iniong lahat..
salamat Panginoon..
salamat zion.. :)

sobrang thank you..
lalo na kay poy-poy.. :)

day 1 na...

...open sleigh. HEY!

2006-12-19T19:28:00.000+08:00

hehe.. ang saya..
nanalo ulit ang avo sa carolfest..
salamat sa iniong lahat!! :D
buti nman ndi na ako naiyak.. hehehe.. :')

salamat tlga klasmeyts.. :D

haay buhay..
masaya nman ako ah.. :)
aus na aus ako..
sadyang may mga bagay lng na naiicp ko..
mga munting problemang ndi nman ako masyadong naaapektuhan..
pero kahit papano.. aun nga.. haay..

salamat sau.. lagi mo ako napapatawa.. hehe.. :D
palibhasa MAGANDA.. oo na.. maganda ka na.. hehe.. :P

basta, wag mo na isiping may problema ako..
ndi ko na rin gagawin "un"..

salamat ulit sau.. sobrang salamat.. :)
kahit anong mangyari, magiging masaya parin ang Pasko ko.. :)

haay.. sori sa iniong lahat ah.. hehe..
kasi.. wala akong mareregaluhan..
no time, no budget, no effort..
hehe.. :P

hmm..
aun lng cguro.. :)

hmm.. geh..

salamat po sa lahat Panginoon.. :D
sobrang salamat po.. :)

haay.. lapit na bakasyon.. (-_-)

ina sonka.. ;)

geh.. bbye na tlga.. hehe.. bbye!! :D

2006-12-17T20:04:00.000+08:00

update update update.. yey!!

hehe.. la lng.. tagal ko ng ndi nag-uupdate eh.. :D

hmm.. kwento kwento kwento..
haha.. ang kulit ko.. :))

monday to friday morning..
STRESS!!
as in.. ewan ko ba.. nasisiraaan na ata ako ng bait nun eh..

tpos.. friday..
aus na!! nawala lahat ng kinababadtripan ko.. hehe.. :)
salamat ulit!! :D
erc.. :D
friday nyt..
nagkita kmi ni iya sa crossings..
tpos kumain kami (mom, dad, ako) ng dinner sa bahay nila!!
haha.. napadaan pa tuloi kami sa kanilang munting tahanan.. :D

after dinner..
bonding mommy ni iya at mommy ko.. daddy ni iya at daddy ko..
basta, pinabayaan lng nmin cla sa sala.. hehe.. :D
kami nman ni iya..
dun sa kwarto nia.. [[HUWHAAATDAAA?!]]
haha.. jok lng..
niwei.. cya nag-keyboard.. ako nag-gtara..

kung anu-ano na tinutugtog nmin..
at dahil sa "musicality" ni iya.. kami'y nakapagcompose ng isa pang kanta..
haha.. pangalawa na nmin nung araw na un..
at parehas na tungkol/alay sa PARENTS.. :))

binigyan ko cya ng chord pattern.. nakuha ko sa "those magic changes"
C - Am - F - G..
sus ginoo.. NAPAKAGANDA NUNG KANTA NI IYA!!!!!
masusuka ka sa ganda.. *burwakk!!*
hehe.. peace tau iya!! :D

niwei.. iiwanan ko na dyan ang friday ko..

saturday..

practice ng carolfest..

aus nman.. masaya..
natapos na.. haay.. gud luck nlang bukas..
gud luck din po sau.. :)
whenever i see...
tuloi tuloi parin..
hehe.. ndi po sinasadya.. :)

masaya rin sabado ko.. :)
kahit medyo nabanas ako kasi ang daming tao sa sakayan.. pero aus lng.. :)

sunday..

eto.. allergy allergy allergy.. pero aus na..
naka-inom na ng gamot.. :)

pagka-inom ng gamot..
chocolate chocolate chocolate.. hehe.. >:)

chalap chalap eh..

hmm.. aun lng muna..
salamat sa lahat Panginoon.. :)

gud luck sa lahat!! God bless!!

babay0o0o0sh!! :D

cuida..

2006-12-07T17:07:00.000+08:00

tagal na rin nung huli kong pinakinggan ung cuida.. la lng.. naadeek ulit ako dun knina..
gusto ko lng ilagay rito ung lyrics nun.. pero bago un..

kwento muna ng onti.. bullet form nlang ah..

"good evening po!!"
sir vince.. peta.. the block.. kilala parin ako.. yehey..
nakakaasar.. tyowang-monimoni..
problem here, problem there, problem everywhere..

senxa na ah.. tinatamad akong magkwento eh..

niwei.. eto lyrics ng cuida..

Kung ako lang ang masusunod
Aakuhin ko ang iyong pagod
'di ka na muling luluha
Lahat ng 'yong dinaldala, akin na
kung pwede lng tlga.. aus lng nman ung sakin eh.. kahit alam kong mahihirapan ako, laging ginhawa para sakin ung alam kong aus ka.. corny ba?
Kung akin lang ang mundo
Ibibigay ko siya sa iyo
isipin mo un..ang mundo.. ndi yan napupunta sa tao.. at kung sakaling oo, aangkinin nia tlga.. pero ako, ibibigay ko nlang sau.. mahal kita eh.. corny ba?
Kung pag-aari ko lang ang lumbay
Itatago ko siya habang buhay
Wala nang inggit, wala nang galit
Paliligayahin kita bawat saglit
langya nman kasi yang lumbay, galit, at inggit eh.. mga panira.. ndi ko cla itatago.. baka makatakas cla eh.. sisirain ko.. o kaya papatayin para cgurado na.. tpos susunugin.. corny ba?
Kung akin lang ang mundo
Ibibigay ko siya sa iyo
ayan nanaman ung linyang yan.. pero totoo nman eh.. ibibigay ko sau.. pero tatanggalin ko muna lahat ng masama sa mundo.. para walang makakasakit sau.. corny ba?
Kung hawak ko lang ang panahon
Wala nang kahapon at bukas, meron lang ngayon
Nais kong maging saysay ng aking buhay
Ay bigyan ang iyo ng kulay
sabi mo nga sa akin dati..wag kong iisipin ang maaaring mangyari.. isipin ko lng ang ngaun.. tama ka.. at wala na akong paki sa sarili ko basta masaya ka.. corny ba?
Kung aking lang ang mundo
Ibibigay ko siya sa iyo
paulit-ulit tlga ung linyang 'to.. pero totoo nman eh.. kahit ano.. basta para sau.. kasi mahal kita.. corny ba?
Sa iyo
Tanging sa 'yo (2x)
Kung akin lang (4x)
Ang mundo (5x)
Kung akin lang ang mundo (repeat and fade)
ayan.. at kahit nag-fade na ang boses ni ebe.. ndi parin maglalaho ang pag-ibig ko para sau.. ayan.. ndi ko na kelangang tanungin kasi alam kong corny na un.. niwei.. cuida = to take care of.. la lng.. corny ba?
la lng.. tagal ko na ring ndi naglagay ng lyrics dito..
huli ata ung stigmatized..

aun.. senxa nga pla kung may mga typo..
geh..

bbye..

tLe

2006-11-29T14:35:00.000+08:00

ako'y kasalukuyang nasa comp lab..
la lng. :)

sigh

2006-11-25T20:34:00.000+08:00

i'm still happy..
this day was wonderful..

but i also still feel like crap..

i followed #s 1 & 2 of my plan..
i know, stupid..
but i told myself that i would do those 3 things..

and i'm sticking with it..
even if i know that it's one of the most stupid ang fucHed up decisions of my life..

even #3?
*sigh*
yeah.. i guess so..

even #3.

now, can't you see my stupidity and stubbornness just oozing out of my ears..?

gosh.. why must i torture myself?
even i can't answer that question..

oh well..
that's life..
that's me..

stupid.

*sigh*

thank you thank you thank you.. :)

2006-11-25T19:45:00.000+08:00

yesterday was hell..
except for the "grease" rehearsals.. :)

today..
hmm.. didn't really start out that well..

then, after lunch..
gateway..

ninang, anton, and i were going to watch happy feet..
while ninang was buying our tickets, anton and i walked around..
i saw ate kai, airon, and someone.. haha.. i don't know her name. :)

then, we watched happy feet..
so did they but i didn't see them.

after that, arian told me that he was on his way to gateway..
nice.. so after the film we met up..
then, he went to where cris and the others were..

then, ninang, anton, and i ate at pizza hut..
after eating, ninang and anton went to the supermarket while i went to the foodcourt to once again meet up with airon and co. :)

i stayed with them for about 30 mins..
i had a really great time with them..

*tagalish mode on*

grabe, dun ko lng tlga na-realize kung gano ko cla na-miss..
ang bait bait nila sa akin.. haha.. :)
talagang mas close ako sa batch nila.. haay.. basta, ang saya saya nilang kasama.. :D

*taglish mode off*

after that, arian accompanied me to ninang's car..
then we went to mercury, then home..

what a happy day..
happy feet is sooo funny and cute!! :D
two thumbs up!! haha.. :D

*tagalog mode on*

salamat kay ate kai, ate phimie, airon, bryan, cris, arian, at mga kasama niniong ndi ko kilala.. hehe.. :) ndi ko inaasahang makikita ko kau.. ang saya saya.. salamat. :)

sana maulit pa un.. basta, ang saya saya kanina.. :D

~~~

dahil sa mga cnabi sa akin ni airon knina..
ndi ko na alam kung dpat ko bang ituloy ung #3 sa plano ko o ndi..
ewan ko ba.. bahala na..
pero salamat airon.. salamat tlga. :)

salamat Panginoon.. :)
napakasaya ng araw ko ngaun..

sana nman ndi 'to masira..

geh, aun lng..

salamat ulit..

*tagalog mode off*

thank you so0o0o0oo0o00o0o much!! :D

bbye. :)

misery..

2006-11-25T10:58:00.000+08:00

misery.. sounds familiar..
i think i already used this as a title of one of my previous posts..

first of all, i'd like to say some things to some people..

iya, lems..
pasenxa na kau kahapon.. nung umaga..
nung medyo naiyak ako..
senxa na tlga..
salamat din.. salamat ng mrami. :)

jhobert..
salamat.. dahil kahit gabing-gabi na nung thursday, tinawagan mo parin ako..
mahal mo tlga ako.. haha.. joke..
pero salamat.. ganyan tlga taung mga pasaway..
ndi natutulog kahit pinapatulog na ng magulang.. hehe.. >;)

paul, rj..
pasenxa na kasi naingayan kau sa pagkakanta/pagwawala ko..
hehe.. minsan, ganyan lng tlga ako kpag sobrang naiirita na..
salamat na rin sa pagtitiis sa ingay.. lalo na c paul.. hehe.. :)

paul (ulit)..
salamat ng mrami kasi pumayag kang suntuk-suntokin ko ung mga palad mo..
sori kung nasaktan ka..

kuia karl..
sori..
sori dahil ginawa ko sa harap mo kahit alam kong ayaw na ayaw mong nakikita un..
salamat na rin dahil napakahaba ng pasenxa mo sa akin..
labshoo kuia.. :)

cho..
salamat ng mrami..
ang bait bait mo tlga..
sobrang thank you.. :)

classmeyts..
sori.. sori tlga..
dahil napakagulo kong magturo kahapon..
ndi tuloi masyadong maaus ung practice..
sori tlga.. :(

arian..
salamat sa pagtawag..
sori na rin kasi ndi parin naaaus problema namin..

aun lng..
haay.. buhay nga nman oh..

eniwei..
may plinano ako kagabi..
mga balak kong gawin hanggang whenever..

1. iwasan cya dahil iniiwasan nia ako at kung ako ay lalapit, iiwas cya..
ayokong mahirapan cya sa kaka-iwas sa akin kaya iiwas nlang din ako..
makes sense, ryt? ryt...?

2. ndi cya kakausapin..
bkit nman? because, if i were to speak with *....*, that would defeat the purpose of avoiding *....*...

3. hmm... may tatlo akong bagong sugat.. kagabi lang.. at balak kong ulit-ulitin ung paghiwa sa mga sugat na un para lumalim ng lumalim at ndi na gumaling ung mga sugat..
secret nlang..

aun.. ung lng..
geh..

bbye.

bad day. very bad day.

2006-11-23T22:05:00.000+08:00

today started out just fine.
happy. :)

lunchtime.
okay.
until...
don't really want to talk about it anymore.

so... i slit my wrists.
hmm secret..

i had every intention of not telling anyone.
unfortunately...

...

so now, you're mad at me.
she's no longer mad at me..
but now you are.

i understand. and it's my fault.

oh well...

fuch.

bad day..

don't really want to talk about it anymore.
i don't even know why i decided to post.

very bad day.

bbye.

mag:net cafe...

2006-11-19T18:22:00.000+08:00

dpat mag-uupdate pa ako ulit kahapon..
kasi napansin kong napaka-negative nung pinost ko..

kaso.. nakalimutan ko na lhat nung dpat kong ilalagay..
kasi.. nabanas nanaman ako sa grades ko..

ewan ko ba..
nakakasar tlga eh..

oo na.
tanga ako.
bobobobobo.

eniwei..

wag nlang natin pag-usapan ulit un.

kagabi..

pumunta kami nina ate annelle at ate annette sa gig ni ate tina..
pwede ring ate krina, ate rina, o kaya nman ate yabyab..

basta.. aun..
cla ung huling bandang tumugtog..
dahil cla ung pinakamagaling..
totoo un! :D

ung una..
emo..
tae..
ang sama ng tunog nila..
ang sama ko rin pero ndi tlga cla magaling eh.. >:)

pangalawa..
aus lng..
medyo ndi maintindihan ung lyrics pero di hamak na mas magaling dun sa nauna.. >:)

pangatlo..
all girls..
asteeg cla..
napakagaling ng 2 gitarista nila..
basta.. hanga ako..
kulang nga lng sa vocals..
ndi marinig eh..
pero magaling mag-compose.. :)

pang-apat..
"music as an art"
fuch. more like "music as a torture device"
sabi nga ni ate annette.. NOISE POLLUTION...
obyus nmang napangitan kmi dba?
hehe.. >:)

panglima..
aus nman.. magaling rin..
ang kyut nung gtar strap ng vocalist..
tpos.. mahusay ung lead.. :D

tpos..
cna ate yabyab..
galing galing galing galing galing galing galing galing galing!!!
as in!!
ganda pa ng boses ni ate yabyab!!
basta..
magaling clang lahat!
:D

haha.. ang biased ko noh?
eh, ganun tlga eh.. totoo mga cnasabi ko.. :D

hmm.. un lng cguro ikwekwento ko..
ayoko na isama rito ung ibang detalye..

ung inuman nmin ang "others"..
ako nlang bahala kung ikwekwento ko sau un sa personal o ndi.. :P

aun lng..
God bless!!

bbye.

*pagpasenxahan kung may mga typo*

grades.. ... ... ...

2006-11-18T15:59:00.000+08:00

today: giving out of cards..
grades.. haaii..
grabe... bye avo na tlga.. :(

haay... ... ...

sana kasi ndi ako sa science high school nag-aral..
sana tlga.. katangahan ko kasi..

pero pwede na rin..
sa kisay lng may tinkerbell eh.. :)

sana nman avo aprin ako nxt yr.. kahit alam kong wala ng pag-asa.. oh well..
.....
....
...
..
.

ndi ko na tuloi alam kung gusto ko bang pumasa sa grease o ndi..
cyempre tlgang oo.. sobrang gusto kong makapasa..

pero.. grades..
maapektuhan kaya grades ko..?

sana ndi.. ndi yan..
ada, maniwala kang ndi maaapektuhan grades mo...

kaya yan.. kayang tapusin ang schoolyr..
pero kayang maging avo parin nxt yr.....?

ewan.

malabo.

bahala na.

:(

haaiii...

2006-11-16T19:49:00.000+08:00

haay... buhay nga naman..

masaya na ako..
tpos.. may nangyaring ndi kanais-nais..
cyempre.. ndi ko sasabihin sa inio..
ndi pwede..
haay...
sori.. sori sau.. sori sa inio lahat.. :(

pero cguro.. tama lng na bigla akong nasaktan sa mga cnabi nia..
secret na kung cno cya..
ndi ko tlga alam kung bkit ako nasaktan..
ndi nman dapat ganun..
cya nga raw ung nasaktan eh.. bakit pati ako naapektuhan?
cyempre.. ganun tlga.. haaiii...

tama lng na bigla akong napaiyak para nman mapa-emote ako bukas sa audition..
baka sakaling makuha ko ung part ni sandy..

wala akong mapagsabihan ngaun..
ewan ko kung dpat ko ba ito ikwento khit knino.. ung mga may detalye ahh..
cguro.. wala dpat akong pagsabihan..

aun nga
lng...
mahirap 'to...

haay.. bahala na..

pero salamat parin po sa lahat Panginoon..
mahal na mahal na mahal po Kita..

bbye..

oh no..

2006-11-13T19:43:00.000+08:00

i thought i already had it..
i was so happy..
but.. oh gosh..
not another audition..
a more difficult audition.. :(

i'm not sure if i'll still pass this time..

i mean, maybe i might..
but.. *sigh*..
i mostly likely won't get the role that i want..
i might not even get a role..
i might be an understudy..
i might be a human prop.. haha..

maybe.. i'm just not meant to be in this play..

why am i being so negative?
the auditions are on friday..
i've got plenty of time to practice..

but.. i don't know..
something bad's going to happen..
i can feel it..

:(

oh well..

chetter... :)

2006-11-11T20:16:00.000+08:00

the pressure.
the drama.
the nerves.
the many things that have to be rushed.
the stress.
the people that you just can't stand.
the wonderful feeling you have while and after performing.

i miss all of that..
yes, i miss those things..
those undesirable things that come with the package of being in theatre arts..

last friday was my third audition to be involved in theatre..
my second to be in a play..
yes, i know.. i still lack experience [[no green jokes please.. haha.. i think i'm the only who's thinking of that..>:)]]..

the audition went smoothly until...
*thunder, lightning!!*
the dancing part..
haha..
yes.. i know...

I AM NOT A DANCER.. :))

but, it was fine..
i actually enjoyed the audition..
despite the fact that first, i could hardly get up the stairs..
second, i couldn't even get a stupid number..
why? the nerves.
oh, yes.. the nerves.
when will i ever get over them..? NEVER. :))

i miss creative music theatre.. cmt.. :)
i miss *~*~*.. yes.. even though i know i still won't be able to stand *~*~*, i miss *~*~*..
after all, working with people that you just can't stand is part of theatre..

i miss our weekly minishows..
weekly MUSICAL minishows..
the pressure.. the lyrics, the lines, the blockings, the notes..
so many tasks, so little time..
waah!! stress!! i miss it..
although i am already experiencing a lot of pressure in QCSHS..
i don't know.. something's different about being under pressure in theatre..
you know that whatever happens, you'll end up feeling great..
why? because of the audience..
no matter how badly your preparations went, the audience will never fail to make you, the performers, feel better..
actually, feel extremely happy and good about yourself..

i want this.
i need this.

why?
because theatre's one of the few things that keeps me going..
that motivates me to do the things that i have to do..
yes, i know that my load will be heavier than the others if i were to get this..

but i need that..
i need that to feel that i can get through this schoolyear..
that i can still manage to stay sane in QCSHS..

in a way, it makes my load lighter..
that's why i need it..
ironic, isn't it? :)

have to go. bbye. God bless. :)

*if there are any errors.. sori! :)*

. . . . . . . . .

2006-11-07T19:18:00.000+08:00

bago ang lahat..
nakasalamin na ako.

haay...
maglalabas lang ako ng galit at sama ng loob..
seryoso ako.. :|
ndi ako tatae.

nabwibwiset nanaman ako sa sarili ko..
nabobobohan..
cge.. sabihin nio ng nagseself-pity nanaman ako..
cge.. go lng.. wala akong paki..
eto ang nararandaman ko at eto ang tingin ko sa sarili ko..

nagsisibabaan nanaman ang grades ko..
mukhang dpat na tlgang mawala sa isip ko ang "avo 4"..
ang "straight avo"..
wala.. wala na lahat un..
oo nga, section lng un..
grades lng yan..
ndi porket ndi ako straight avo, ndi na ako magkakaroon ng trabaho..
alam ko lahat un..

eh, paki nio ba?! [[sori.. badtrip..]]
pangarap ko un eh!!!
at kahit anong gawin ko..
wala.. wala.. WALA!!!!

at ikaw nman shantrel..
wag na wag mo cyang pagbibintangan...
sabihin mo ng kasalanan ko un.. wag lng cya..
pucha.. nakakabwiset ung cnabi mo..
at ndi ako naniniwalang totoo un..
dahil ndi ko un nararamdaman..
naicp ko na rin un.. dating-dati pa..
at alam mo, wala cyang kinalaman sa pagbaba ng pagkatao ko..
dahil kahit anong gawin nia, ako parin ang gumagawa ng mga desisyon ko..
kaya wag mong sabihing kasalanan nia..
oo nga, ndi mo nman sinabing kasalanan nia..
eh, GANUN NA RIN UN EH!!!
bkit ba?! kelangan ba ung eksaktong mga sinabi mo ung ilagay ko pa dito?!
AYOKO EH!!!
pasalamat ka.. ndi kita inaway knina..
kasi paalis ka na.. kaya inaaway kita ngaun.. kahit alam kong ndi mo 'to mababasa...
ndi totoo ung mga sinabi mo knina..
ndi ko pinaniniwalaan un..
papatunayan ko un..

pero.. pano..?
NDI NMAN KASI AKO KASINGTALINO MO SHANTREL!!!
pakshet... bwiset.. haay..

paalala..
lumaki ako ng pinagtutuunan ng pansin ang performing arts..
NDI AKO SCIENTIST!!
bwiset.. alam ko nmang ndi para sa akin ang mag-aral sa SCIENCE high school eh..
nung 1st year ko pa na-realize un..
pero cge.. tuloi lng..
ngaun.. medyo pinagsisisihan ko..
masyado ng late para magtransfer..
at mahirap na ring mag-adjust..
pero gusto ko sana mag-aral sa music/al school.. o teatro..
kung pwede lng maging member na ng peta at maging hs drop-out..
kung pwede lng tlga..

mahal ko ang kisay.. pero ndi tlga ako para sa eskwelahang iyon..
para akong bote ng powder na naligaw sa mga bote ng toyo.. [[haaii.. analogies..]]
cguro dahil na rin ndi ko na masyadong na-eenjoy ang pagiging hs..
wala na akong ganang mag-aral..

learning is fun..
kisay was created to disprove that statement..
haaiiii.. bwiset..
ayoko na..

cguro.. kung nasa holy parin ako ngaun..
masaya ang buhay hs ko..
sama ko tlga..
pero totoo un..
kasi.. kung ndi ako kasali sa shs chorale..
sa forte impromptu nlang..
pwede rin sa acoustic club..
napakaraming pwedeng salihan na ikatutuwa ko..

haiii...
musical play.. miss ko na yan..
gusto ko nga makasali ulit sa isang ganyan..
mag-auaudition sana ako para sa grease kaso nagdadalawang isip na ako..
bwiset na grades yan oh.. dahil ba dyan palalagpasin ko ang pagkakataong makasali sa isang musical play..?!
na makasali sa play na LAST YEAR ko pa iniisip?!
oo!! last year ko pa alam na musical ang gagawing play ngaun!!!
last year ko pa binabalak mag-audition..
last year pa..

kakayanin ko pa ba pag nag-audition ako?
haay.. cge.. mag-auaudition ako..
pag pumasa, ibig sabihin.. sa tingin ni Lord.. kaya nman..
kung ndi, ibig sabihin.. ndi dapat mahati ang atensyon.. kelangan tlgang mag-aral ng todo..

haaiii...
bahala na c Lord..
bahala na c batman..
bahala na..

pero aun nga..
napakababa na ng tingin ko sa sarili ko..
nakakainis..
nakakayamot..
nakakabwiset..

haay.. shantrel.. ikaw ang may kasalanan kung bkit ako nagkakaganito..
medyo aus na ako eh..
tpos.. sinabi mo pa un sa akin..
ang galing mo tlga mag-timing khit kelan..
SALAMAT NG MRAMI AH!!! * note the sarcastic tone *

haaiiii... cge.. mahaba-haba na rin 'to..
baka inaantok ka na..
alam kong nakakatamad magbasa ng mahabang post..
kaya aun..
hanggang dito nlang..

bbye.

"update" nanaman.

2006-11-03T22:01:00.000+08:00

tinatamad parin akong magkwento..
pero wala lng..
wala tlgang magawa eh..
amboring.

knina sa jeep..
la lng.. sinisingil ako nung driver kasi P6 lng binigay ko..
eh, malay ko bang sa lunes pa uli ung discount?!
akupah! wala akong alam sa current events.. :P
tpos, may lalakeng nagsabi..
"eh, may pasok na eh.."
bait nman.. naicp ko..
pero cge.. kuha ng dalawang piso..
ipapapasa ko na sana..
lalake: okay na miss..
ako: po..? [wo0sho0.. magalang daw ah.. hehe..]
lalake: okay na miss; wag na..

fast forward..

naglalakad na ako pauwi..
may narinig akong kumakanta..
mahal kita.. pero di mo lng alam..
tpos.. may pumito..
tpos.. may sumigaw sa akin..
"ate, mahal kita!! mahal na mahal na kita!!"
deadma.
pinagsabihan cya nung isa niyang kasama..
"putanginamo!"
pero tuloi parin cya..
"mahal kita ateeee!!!"
ngunit humina ang kanyang boses.. hanggang sa tinigilan na nia ako..

ayan lng..
kakatamad tlga magkwento eh..
at.. hmm.. wala lng.. :)

salamat sa lahat Panginoon.. :D

isa nanamang walang kwentang "update"...

2006-11-02T20:26:00.000+08:00

outdated.

boring.

dark.

...

in other words...

my blog.

*bow*

:)

2006-10-30T21:04:00.000+08:00

tinatamad akong mag-kwento ng mahaba..

oct 28..
meeting sa up ulit..
nabadtrip..
caramel sundae.. mmmm.. :)

oct 29..
hapi burtdei madur!!
:)

oct 30..
aus.. :)
lamig.. antok..
practice.. sayaw, sayaw, sayaw..
you saw nothing.. :P

ayan lng.. haba ng update ko noh?
malamang wala kaung naintindihan.. hehe.. :P
bbye! :D

saka na ako mag-eenglish..

2006-10-27T18:57:00.000+08:00

kwento ulit..

yoko muna mag-english.. hehe..
baka mag- "bloody all over" pa ako.. :))

ngaun..

hmm.. gcng ng maaga..
kala ko commute nanaman ako papuntang sm..
ndi pla.. hinatid ako ni ate.. salamat ate.. :)
pagdating sa mcdo.. bili ng caramel sundae.. [[mmm.. chalap!! :D]]
as usual, nabaliw nanaman kami ni iya.. c lems daw kasi ma-lalate..
ang ingay nga nmin eh.. >:)

tpos.. punta na sa... sa..
waah.. nakalimutan ko na ung pangalan..
basta may "de paul" un sa huli.. haha.. :))

practice practice ng mag-isa..
ala pa kasi c unggi.. :)
txt txt.. khit ndi cya masyadong nagrereply.. hehe..
titig sa pic kapag ala magawa.. :)

tpos.. dumating c beloved monkey partner!!
[[haha.. ambad ko tlga.. >:)]]
aun.. wala na..
ALL HELL BROKE LOSE..
hell nga ba?
cguro all ASYLUM..
hehe.. basta.. napakagulo at ingay ko na tuloi..
nmin pla.. hehe.. tawa kmi ng tawa habang sumasayaw..
tpos lagi kming 2 ung nahuhuli sa formation..
nag-iintro na cla, patakbo plang kmi sa places nmin.. :))

lunch break..
jollibee nanaman..
kumain din ako dun ng caramel sundae..
kaso mas gusto ko ung sa mcdo.. :)
tpos.. hmm.. mga kabaliwan nmin dun..
c lemelen, tinatawag akong anak nia..
ASA KA PA UNGGI!!! :P hehe.. >:)
balik sa ".... de paul".. :)
NDI NA KAMI NAGLAKAD!!
haha.. natuto na kmi.. nag-jeep kmi..
pero c iya, nung una.. may balak pang maglakad..
haha.. NO WAY!! :P

tpos.. practice ulit..
ayan nanaman kmi ni lems.. >:))
tpos.. tuwing exit..
"oh, i-shoot mo na ako!!"
"oh cge.. ayan na!!"
*talon na may paikot-ikot pa*
"oh, ikaw nman!!"
"cge" *talon ng diretso*
*tawanan at halakhakan*
hinabol ko pa cya ng may dalang patpat.. hehehe... >:)
haaii.. saya tlga ng kabaliwan ng tah!! :D

tpos.. nu na nagyari..?
nabuo nman ung sayaw.. salamat audaudaudaudaudaudaud at apulols!! :D
tpos.. bago kmi bumalik sa sm.. [[ako, iya, kate]]
daan sa seven eleven dahil uhaw na uhaw na..
pagkalabas..
*lampaso*
*iwas*
*lampaso*
*iwas*
*lampaso*
haay.. nakakabadtrip tlga un..
pero habang nangyayari un, naiicp ko lng..
"sori Lord, sori Lord"
kasi, tingin ko nanaman sa sarili ko napakasama ko..
pero nakakaasar nman kasi ung pinaggagagawa nila sa amin..
mali tlga un..

niwei..
sm.. baba sa may hypermart..
punta sa mcdo carpark dahil andun daw ung parents ni iya..
pagdating nmin sa mcdo..
nagtxt sa kania..
sa hypermart nlang daw...
AUS!!!!! :))
balik kmi dun..

tpos.. ndi nila nabili ung dapat nilang bibilhin..
tpos.. uwian na..
c kate, humiwalay na..
cyempre nakisabay ako kayna iya.. ;)
haha.. tinamad na ako mag-commute..
tpos.. humiram c iya ng cd ng the corrs..
tpos.. alis na cla..

ako nman..
nag-aus ng "study table" dahil cnabi sa akin ni mommy na ndi ako pwedeng magtelepono pag ndi ko un inaus..
cyempre ndi ako payag dun!! haha..
kaya aun..
"naaus" ko na..
haha.. well, mukha ng maaus..
pwede na un.. >:)

tpos.. aun.. nag-ol ako..
at nag-update..

aun..

tpos.. may naicp pla ako kninang umaga na ilagay dito..
tungkol dun sa "false reflection".. kung naaalala nio pa un..
pero.. wala na akong motivation para ilagay un.. at.. hmm.. bayaan ko nlang un..

hmm.. aun lng..

salamat sa lahat Panginoon..
sori po..

[[migs, cholo.. meeting bukas.. ;)]]

taba taba taba taba taba taba taba taba taba
taba taba taba taba taba taba taba taba taba
taba taba taba taba taba taba taba taba taba
taba taba taba taba taba taba taba taba taba
taba taba taba taba taba taba taba taba taba
taba taba taba taba taba taba taba taba taba
taba taba taba taba taba taba taba taba taba
taba taba taba taba taba taba taba taba taba
taba taba taba taba taba taba taba taba taba
taba taba taba taba taba taba taba taba taba
taba taba taba taba taba taba taba taba taba mo.. :)

se agapo.. :)

werden Sie, Sie lieben mich immer noch am morgen..? :-* >:D<

wag kang magpapapayat ah.. hehe.. :D

ada the explorer!! :)

2006-10-25T21:18:00.000+08:00

tagalog mode muna.. :D

kahapon..

practice ng sayaw para sa mapeh..
na-late ako..
"runner".. haha..
ndi ako nakakain ng almusal..
tinopak ako kasi gutom na gutom na ako..
nagkwentuhan kmi ni lems.. ala c iya eh..
maaga natapos ung practice..
linakad nmin nila lems, bols, at kate ung jollibee..
wooh!! pagdating nmin dun.. LAMON.. :))
kwentuhan.. kmi nlang ni lems ung natira..
tpos.. LINAKAD nmin ung sm..
mga "short cut" ni lems.. haha.. :D
tpos.. mga na-encounter nming *barf*..
pagdating nmin dun.. diretso sa mcdo..
hinga...
tpos.. libot-libot..
pahinga ulit sa foodcourt..
tpos.. balik sa mcdo..
sinundo na kmi..

tpos.. hmm..
ayoko na alalahanin ung iba..

ngaun..

meeting..
migs at cholo.. :)
NAG-COMMUTE AKO PAPUNTANG SM..
historical un.. hehe..
pagkapasok ko sa mcdo.. labas agad..
punta sa national.. bili ng materials..
punta sa mcdo.. bumili ako ng caramel sundae.. :)
punta sa up.. bahay ng alumni..
laro ng dyolen..
cutter.. kakaaliw.. :))
nahiwa pa kmi ni migs.. ndi un sadya ah!! ;)
drawing drawing sa white board..
tpos.. hmm.. nu pa ba mga nangyari?
kain ng tapsilog.. fishball hunting ngunit nabigo..
napadpad sa isaw, barbq, gizzard, at atay.. :)
lakad-lakad sa up.. libot-libot..
mga feeling kolehiyo na.. haha..
hmm.. nu pa ba?
dumaan kmi sa college of music nung naghahanap kmi ng nagbebenta ng fishball..
balita ko kasi masarap ung fishball dun..
pero ala.. tpos.. *tok tok*
may kumakatok sa bintana..
paglingon ko.. c franco.. haha..
tpos.. uwian na..
kelan ulit meeting? haha.. :))

aun.. aus na.. yehey!!
sori ulit..

salamat sa lahat Panginoon..

mataba ako.. [[ayan.. linagay ko na..]]
ngunit masyadong mataba ang katabaan ko para magkasya dito sa blog ko..

pero.. kung ndi na magkakasya ang katabaan ko dito sa blog ko, pano na ung katabaan mo?
hehe.. :P

hmm.. aun lng..

nga pla, pag nagkita ulit tau..
gusto kitang sampalin.. >:(

aun.. yan.. un lng!! :)

oh isn't life just dandy..

2006-10-22T23:55:00.000+08:00

today was wonderful..
party at migs..
jamming..
y!m..

phone..

until...

i currently do not wish to go into detail..
all i have to say is..

danniel, thank you for inspiring me to once again SLIT MY WRISTS...
oh, you are a WONDERFUL friend..

update!!

2006-10-19T20:26:00.000+08:00

sunday, monday, tuesday, wednesday..
those days are all just a blur to me..
i almost had no sleep during those days..
project, project, project, project..

gaud.. life is becoming so hectic..

i miss the days when i just played video games all day long..
or went to the mall..
or slept..
or watched tv..
or ate..
and ate and ate and ate and ate..

now, i don't even have time to eat..
but of course, i have to make time for that..

*sigh*
i miss my "creative posts"..
my "emotional posts"..

i wanna write another story..
another poem..
anything..

but i'm just too busy.
argh..

here's a VERY short "poem"..

you know what? on second thought..
i don't want to post that poem..
haha.. it's just...

way too personal.

anyway, tuesday isn't entirely a blur to me..
in fact, i remember a lot of things.. haha.. :)
*sigh* :)
october 17, 2006.. i'll NEVER forget that day..

thank you very much for everything Lord.. :)

thanks to mom and dad for helping me finish the final outputs of our group's english project.. especially to dad..

*blah blah* time?
will you still love me in the morning?
forever and ever babe.

forever and ever...

:)

may oras na ako!! :)

2006-10-16T04:31:00.000+08:00

ayan.. may oras na ako para mag-update..

ndi ako natulog..*yawn*
pero aun.. ndi ako inaantok..
pero nararamdaman kong bumibigay na ang katawan ko..
pero kaya yan.. kelangan eh..

haay.. masaya ako..
ndi ko aakalaing kaya kong magmahal muli.. [[corny]]
haha.. pero aun..
mas masaya na ako..
SOBRA.. :D

hmm... nu pa ba?
ndi na masyadong gumagana utak ko eh..
geh.. hanggang dito nlang muna..

sencya na kung walang kwenta ung update..

salamat po sa lahat Panginoon.. :)

good morning sa inio!!! :D

this is not good..

2006-10-09T19:40:00.000+08:00

damn.. why is this happening to me?!
oh, btw.. this isn't about him..

you know what, i suddenly don't want to update my blog anymore..
a bitch pissed me off..
phukk..

have to go..

i hate myself..
i hate the world..

i love you..

<3

2006-10-08T19:12:00.000+08:00

haay.. ndi ko aakalain..
ndi aakalain tlga.. :)

mas masaya na ako ngaun..
haay.. ganito pla ung pakiramdam ng nasusuklian ung mga ginagawa m..
ung di ka binabalewala..
ung alam mong may pake cya sau..
ung alam mong mahal ka nia TLGA..
ung ndi hanggang salita lng..
ung ndi hanggang txt lng..

haay.. salamat po Panginoon...
soooobra... :)

pasenxa ka na nga pla.. lam mo na un..
sori kung pinag-alala pa kita..
nga pla, fill in the blanks: I L_VE Y__.. :)